Monday, March 23, 2009

Ego and the Evil Empire: Final Chapter

As I have written about before, I did not have a happy wedding dress-shopping experience. At this very moment, my dress is in my car in the basement parking garage of my office, where there is routine flooding and leaking, and it's raining today. You might think that would be make me feel jumpy, but it's actually nothing compared to the uneasiness I have about going in for my first dress fitting this afternoon.

First things first: the dress fits beautifully. All that needs to be done is hemming in two places and perhaps creating a tiny bustle. I'm not worried about the mechanics of it. I'm not even very worried about the cost of said alterations anymore, although at one point I was so pissed about the continued rip-off-ness that is anything with the word "wedding" attached to it, I considered going elsewhere. A few smart warnings and the enticement of the store shipping the finished dress to NC for me, thus preventing the need to travel with it, changed my mind. So no, the price isn't even what has me so jumpy today.

The problem goes back to where we started with this whole shopping experience: this town, this and other stores, and the people I'll be hanging out with in my underwear later today (save for one, but I fear the fact that since she lost her job and is coming back only for our appointment, her mood won't be top-notch). The entire experience has from the beginning made me feel crappy about myself, and I'm dreading my return trip. (Unfortunately, my sidekick is otherwise engaged being six and a half months pregnant right now, so unavailable for "biatch alert.") I'm not sure if my terrible dress-shopping experiences say more about Dallas (a vanity-obsessed skinnytown), or my bad luck running into awful people, or my bad choices about where I went shopping in the first place, but my normal, confident self knows all of these things for a fact:
  • I am not "too broad" to wear wedding dresses, as I've been told by the people trying to sell me wedding dresses
  • I do not have "very large" hips (imagine that said in a condescending Parisian accent, FYI), but even if I did, screw them!
  • I actually look great in the dress that I chose, and when I try it on in my own environment, I feel fantastic in it
  • Women of all shapes and sizes deserve to have a dress-shopping experience that makes them feel great about themselves
  • Places that make potential customers feel bad about themselves do not deserve their money
  • I am smarter than to put up with so much attitude
And yet...

Here I am, sitting in my office surrounded by items of professional accomplishment and tokens that are important to me: photos of loved ones, snippets of my published past, my "I Like the Smell of Newsprint in the Morning" coffee mug, some outrageously fun new "campaign stickers" for the wedding, and my general air of confident, optimistic calm. But all I can think about is how I'm going to strategize undressing and putting on the gown alone in order to prevent a snarky size comment from the seamstress again, or how I should've worked out yesterday, or how maybe I should rethink my nixing of Spanx, and blahblahblah. Frankly, it's embarrassing. I am smarter and more confident than this. Two months out from our wedding, I don't want to put up with second-guessing and passive-agressive comments that subtly recommend a brief eating disorder as I aerobicize my way to May 24.

Really, can't they be just a little bit nicer and give me a break? Just this once?


Heather the bridesmaid said...

I'm sending good vibes your way! Dig deep and show them you're proud of your figure. Just try not to let their negative energy affect you. Easier said than done, I know. Good luck!

Kate said...

Tell Miss Poodle to go take a hike back to Paris and eat a baguette. With CHEESE on it.

Your dress looks A-MAAAAZE-ING on you - ML would be tickled pink!

And - you know what needs to be done to the dress - just tell them that: "Look, it just needs to be hemmed and a little bustling action - please take care of that... SILENTLY, if you don't mind."

SLynnRo said...

Oh everyone has those moments. And trust me, don't wear Spanx. Those dresses are hot enough without more layers. You will love divine.

AmyJean said...

I am scared for my own experience... But after reading this, i think i can be confident to go with my gut... and follow my instinct!

I bet your dress looks amazing on you!

ABC Dragoo said...

When I was trying on dresses the first thing to come out of the salesgirls mouth at 7 out of the 8 stores I went to was "How much do you plan to lose before you get married?" With only six months before the big day (and the knowledge that I have been working out and eating healthy since I was 15 - I was 30 at that point!) not to mention the fact that my soon-to-be husband fell in love with this butt these breasts and these hips, I knew that cultivating an eating disorder in the months leading up to the wedding was not a good idea.

It is really a shame that people in the wedding industry think it is okay to "assume" you're unhappy with your figure and make terrible comments.

Since I was 19 I had the dream of a Vera Wang gown. When the woman said "You're too broad for our designs" "You have this uh...terrible... swimmers back" "How much do you plan to lose?" I got dressed walked out the door and took my money elsewhere. I walked out the door at Reem Acra, Bergdorfs, Saks and again and again and again. I am 5'7 and a size 6-8.

I am so sorry your dress fitter said this. Fact is they should all be ashamed of themselves. I bet they wouldn't look a tenth as fab as you will look in your dress!

BTW: Skip the spanx - go for pants by commando. They have thong or boy shorts and are completely invisible. No seams, no panty lines.

ABC Dragoo