Wedding recaps all week on EAD!

You diehard Eat, Drink, Marry-ers already know the dirty details, of course, but in case you've missed the tales of how we pulled off our red, blue, patterned-out-the-wazoo wedding, come read my recaps on Elizabeth Anne Designs! I'll be there all week telling the story from scratch.

On a side note, it's tough writing about your wedding when you have to explain it all at once. Writing over here a little bit at a time - inside jokes understood, sarcasm appreciated, F-Word chiming in - was a whole different (easier) shebang. I'm exhausted!

Buckets of thanks to Ami at EAD for giving me the recap opportunity. Now, if only I could get my act together and send off those wedding submission packets for print magazines...

Hi, blog! Nice to have you back again! GRRRR.....

What should I learn from my blogging experience this weekend? It went something like this:

1. Coming home on Friday night and logging into Blogger to fix a (gasp!) typo on the top post at Freckled Citizen.

2. "Your Blogger account has been disabled." EEK.

3. Finding out that my various partners in crime for all three of my blogs - Trevor (The F-Word from Eat, Drink, Marry) and the lovely Marjorie and Mikaela from m-pyre - had been disabled, too.

4. While Freckled Citizen and m-pyre's URLs were still working (even though I couldn't access Blogger to create new posts or edit existing posts), Eat, Drink, Marry gave me the notice "This blog has been removed."

4. Seeing that an extremely large number of people were screaming their heads off over on the Blogger Help Forum about the exact same thing happening to them on Friday night. We're talking large-scale and massive frustration.

5. Leaving countless forum posts, filling out countless forms, sending endless tweets, and sending endless e-mails to Blogger/Google but receiving absolute, resounding silence from them... and seeing even more people plea for help all day Saturday on the forum or on Twitter.

6. Frustratingly waiting for resolve all weekend (when I normally don't blog anyway) wondering if I'd get my blogs back, what I'd do if they were permanently deleted, and basically bitching about unfair the whole thing was.

7. Sunday night... ta-da! My blogs and blog access reappeared.

Now am I supposed to be jumping up and down and thanking Blogger for returning my blogs to me? Well, no. Because it never should've happened in the first place. Is the answer here "you get what you pay for," which in Blogger's case, is nothing? Is migrating to Wordpress (which I'm not a fan of) the only solution?Anyone have any gems of wisdom ? Because to me this weekend is a big warning to run far away from Blogger, or risk it all happening again. Only, I'm not sure what action that implies. Sigh... any ideas?

So much love from ABCD!

What a fantastic feeling for a Friday, waking up to so much love over on the ABCD Designs blog!

ABCD: Bride stays true to her vision


I think she is much too kind, of course, but Amy's point about sticking to your inspiration "guns" is well-taken ... I agree with her that wedding blogs can become inspiration overload at a certain point in your planning process. In a way, because our "theme" was so different than what I was seeing on other blogs, it made our planning process easier - nothing out there was something I could quickly scoop up and incorporate into our event, so I could just ooh and aah objectively. Plus, not only was I already over my head with graphic design and printing up until the last minute, but Team DIY was up to their ears in glue with all the fabric pomander-making, can-wrapping, and votive-decorating. Factor in the travel requirements for all projects to arrive at our tough-to-get-to-wedding, and adding another project just wasn't an option!

Lacking detail angst doesn't make me immune from the problem of too much inspiration, though. The one place I can say this "was it enough?" angst has hit me is with photography. We spent a large portion of our budget on photography and love so many of our photos, but I confess that I do get pangs of "should we have hired a second photographer?" or "instead of going with a local photographer, should we have imported someone?" I'm sure every couple ends up with a few photos they wanted but that just never got taken - whether that was verbalized in advance or a shot you only realized how much you wanted after the fact. As we found with so many other aspects of our wedding, the benefits of getting married in a remote place also become drawbacks - doing anything that's not "home-grown" was exorbitantly expensive. I don't mean to discredit our photographer at all - we truly love our photographs - really. And her presence throughout our day was nothing but a good thing - she is one of those truly warm, free-spirited, FUN people. But because I'm drawn to so much photography on other wedding blogs, it has become that nagging little question in my head, just as others might have that voice worry about their dress, or their flowers, or their music, etc.

But in the spirit of just being thrilled that we pulled off our crazy election-themed party - and to not having regrets, because we did the very best we could with the budget we were comfortable with - let's look at more pretty photos in the next post!

And to Amy, who without question was my absolutely favorite part of our wedding planning process, a huge thank you!

PS... I've moved! Catch up on my daily adventures at The Freckled Citizen!

Hey...that's us!

Was just exploring my site meter and found a discussion thread about our wedding! Funny.

Check it out here.

New digs!

I warned you that I was packing my boxes... allow me to introduce my new blog, The Freckled Citizen!


Never fear, I'll continue doing the full wedding recap over here. I actually think my wedding photos might be arriving in the mail today, at last! Can I handle a new blog and my wedding photos all on the same day? We're about to find out.

Come on over and say hi!

(And yep... wedding colors never die!)

Feminists fall in love, too

Feministing is one of my daily reads. As such, I've come to admire and respect founder Jessica Valenti, now a published author and fixture on the college speaking circuit. Valenti has been engaged for several months now, and has written in several places about the process of being a feminist and planning a wedding, something that seems to many to be an oxymoron. In this piece for the Guardian, Valenti offers an eloquent recap of the process for her thus far, and the response her engagement has elicited from some conservatives ("You've Never Met a Bridezilla Like a Feminist Bridezilla") to fellow feminists who believed Valenti had compromised her values by wanting to be married (she "seem[ed] to find flaws with patriarchy, but fail[ed] to find a way to bring it down"). The value in having this discussion in multiple mediums is enormous, and digging into feminism, romantic partnership, and structural conditions is something that I could do all day long. What these serious discussions come down to is the same bottom line that fluffier wedding-based reads bring up for me: do what makes you and your partner happy. That's it. That's all.

Being a feminist and planning a wedding embodies much more than whether or not you're wearing a white dress (I am) or changing your name (I'm not) or being given away by someone (both my parents, thank you). Being a feminist and planning a wedding is about your relationship and your partnership, and incidentally how you choose to celebrate (both raucously and tenderly, for us, and with donations to a same-sex marriage fund in lieu of favors, because we feel extraordinarily lucky that we're able to marry at all). Trevor and I are equal partners through and through, and I think our wedding will celebrate that fact. Our campaign logo is fun and memorable, but is quite literal in the statement that it makes. Adams Hanger '09. Separate entities joined on a ticket. Distinct identities embarking on a journey together. (Remember a Council Between Equals?)

I like the kind of wedding that celebrates how stubbornly independent the two of us are, while not diminishing for a second that we're also madly in love with each other. I like the kind of marriage that kind of wedding will kick off. And maybe I do have a set of 12 glasses on my living room floor right now with an etched family monogram that will never be ours, sent by someone who didn't quite get it. These things will happen, and if I get fed up enough I can call my future mother-in-law, who never changed her name, for advice. That small hassle, though? Totally worth it. Because I get to marry the only person who's ever made me excited about the idea of marriage, and because he's every bit as equal-opportunity and well-adjusted and unpossessive and excited to be married as I am. Is he "garnishing his testicles" for "letting" me keep my name, as someone wrote about Valenti's fiance? Hardly. Trust me.

It's funny to me how much we can fuss about the way other people decide to get married. If we're going to fuss about it, let's fuss about those who aren't even allowed the option. That's the real deal. Me? I'm just a feminist co-hosting a big 'ol beach party and shacking up with her favorite guy for the rest of her life.

Congrats, Jessica. And you know what? Congrats, me! (Us, I mean us.)

Happy Friday, everyone.

Fun kudos!

I woke up this morning to some fun news: The Blissful Bride raved about this crazy wedding we're planning! She used our weird election party as an example of a successful theme. Thanks, Amanda! I could pretend we've been confident we could pull this off all along, but I would be lying... so thanks for the assurance that this is coming together!

A few weeks ago when our invitations debuted, we also received some very kind words from Oh So Beautiful Paper and Once A Bride, two other really fantastic blogs and great women (I squarely blame Oh So Beautiful Paper for my yearlong letterpress obsession; I was up all hours last night shopping for letterpress cards, Nole.).

It's really fun to begin to see all these small decisions we've made over the last several months come together as a cohesive whole. And it's still shocking to me when other folks can see what we're going for and not run in the other direction! We must be doing something right.

On that note, here's another photo of my mom's famous fabric pomanders... something very right indeed:

Wedding blog PSA

Something has been bothering me in wedding bloglandia, folks. From my comfy yet busy perch seven weeks out from my own wedding, I'm noticing a lot of judgment flying around on my Google Reader. What's especially problematic is how much of this judgment is cloaked in non-judgmental robes.

Here's the thing. Any sane and goodhearted person would never look down upon or deride a small-budget wedding for what it lacked. Why, then, is it so popular to make fun of weddings that cost more than we want to spend, or incorporated elements that are outside our own priorities? I'm not talking about "Platinum Weddings," either. I mean weddings with matching decor, or weddings with DIY details that took time and effort and amounted to real cost savings, or weddings that came to fruition through the help of a binder featuring inspiration photos, vendor contracts, RSVP lists, and the like? These are not outrageous elements if they represent who the couple is and if said couple enjoys such details.

Personally, I think of wedding blogs as a resource for inspiration as well as implementation. Much of what's out there doesn't appeal to me; much of it does but is either out of our budget or not quite right for our wedding; some of it is fantastic. What's helpful or not is different to each of us, and honestly, isn't it better that way? Take inspiration where you will, tweak it to suit you, and keep moving. Just because a blog continues to spotlight invitations after you've already selected or made yours, or is showing new DIY projects after your slate is full, doesn't mean it's time for an identity crisis. Don't we have a little more confidence than that?

I think weddings have more potential to be personal now than ever. More and more, couples are ditching the traditions that don't speak to them, infusing the event with their personality, and throwing a wedding that could be no one else's. That's a great thing. We should celebrate such differences.

This wedding the two of us are having? It's not right for you. It's right for us. And it's not a cookie-cutter wedding. It's not a budget wedding. It's not a DIY wedding. It's not a traditional wedding. It's not an indie wedding. It's a little of all of those things, shaped as strangely as we are. Both of my parents are walking me down the aisle, we're honoring LGBT struggles for marriage equality in our own way, our ceremony will be interactive and funny, we love our readings, and we have quirky invitations that could be no one else's but our own. Also? The wedding will match, and I will be wearing a white dress, and I'll also be rocking expensive red shoes. Not because I feel like I have to, but because I want to. Those choices don't make me better or worse than you, but they're my choices. And the only priorities that matter are those of the two people getting married.

Back to basics, then: What kind of wedding do you want to throw? How do you want to say I Do? What inspires you out there? How will your wedding reflect your priorities? None of us are the same, nor should we be. Judging others for having different priorities than yours regarding their own wedding is the kind of commentary I'm really not very interested in reading.

Blog crush: The Flashdance

Thanks to linkage from East Side Bride, I've been digging into The Flashdance with glee. Part event planning with alt-sensibility (interviews with cool Los Angeles planners), part kick-ass DJ (Michael Antonia), and part ridiculous photographers (Our Labor of Love and Max Wanger), this blog makes me happy... without that guilty/cheesy/bemused feeling I sometimes get reading other wedding-related stuff, as much as it's been my unabashed guilty pleasure for the last several months. I mean helloooo, a new music mix every month?! That's my kinda wedding chatter.

It's funny... sometimes I wonder about this wedding the F-Word and I are planning and how it looks on paper... er, screen. What would our wedding be if we had more time to plan it, or we did it somewhere a little less remote where it might be easier to pull off any idea we came up with, etc.... I love how we're putting this thing together, don't get me wrong, but it strikes me as interesting from time to time how many elements we're incorporating that are fairly straightforward and mainstream. That makes me giggle a little bit, because inside, we're Flashdance through and through.

When I start writing about programs and favors soon, I'll circle back to this theme, and the fact that we feel extraordinarily humbled to be able to marry despite all those who cannot. I think it's clear we don't take ourselves very seriously, but that lightness doesn't come without a very real consideration of equity and basic fairness. I mean, really, we're allowed to marry each other? The two of us? Insanity.

So in the spirit of spreading celebration, here's what I'm talking about: The Flashdance takes us from inspirational same-sex ceremonies to funny "what not to do" tips to really awesome playlists. Lots of awesome playlists, actually. Let's end with Cocktail Music: Tried and True v. A Little Less Obvious, why don't we? Enjoy.

Kate rocking her White (Aisle) Wedding

My girl Kate has some gorgeous wedding invitations. Right now, her invitation designer White Aisle Press is featuring them on the front of their website. Go ooh and aah at Kate's invitations ("Vintage" in gold and fuschia). Clearly, her sense of color and style is not going unnoticed. :-)

Thursday scattershots

1. Every time I see a wedding featuring the JCrew Lydia bridesmaid dress, I perk up a little. Check it out in yellow! I'm so pumped my girls will be wearing this dress. The perfect beach bridesmaid dress, in my opinion.

2. The bounty of loved ones in my life who are trying to get pregnant, are currently pregnant, or are new moms levels me. And they've all done it according to their own plan, just as they wanted to. You all are fantastic and make me so happy with all your hip mom-ness.

3. My food hero Heidi Swanson has a new natural recipe search engine. Go check it out! Heidi is a great first-stop source for anyone trying to incorporate more whole ingredients in their diets, particularly whole grains and greens. Her recipes are fantastic.

4. I think the coolest thing I've seen in the wedding world lately has got be these live event paintings. Incredible! How amazing to have an artist paint a portrait of your ceremony?

5. I'd like to win the lottery and dress our reception in red printed linens with white charges and these dishes. Please?

Blog love, and some goals

Today's one of those Mondays where I'm embarrassingly behind on the work that pays (some of) the bills and loathe to admit that my workday to-do list isn't nearly as interesting as wedding blogs or today's White House Press Briefing. So in lieu of a fun wedding post, I'm going to take care of some blog housekeeping. I've gotten fun blog shout-outs from two lovely bloggers in the past couple of months: ABCD and Kate. I've neglected to return either compliment, so consider this my amends.

First up, Amy gifted me with a Uber Amazing Blog Award. Thanks, Amy! Besides being our extremely talented invitation designer, Amy is completely delightful to work with and has a fantastic design sensibility that really comes through on her blog. I love seeing someone else appreciate the aesthetic of modern and rustic coming together, and (unlike me) know how to articulate it. Her blog is a daily stop for me.


Next, Kate gifted me with a trifecta of frothy blog awards: Simply Lovely, Truly Beautiful, and Happy New Year, fitting for a fab new friend who is as fun and charming in real life as she is on her blog. Kate oozes wit and sass in exactly the ways I adore, and I can't wait to see how her March wedding comes together, or how that next round of drinks materializes... Thanks, Kate!

As part of that New Year award, I'm supposed to list "Things That'll Rock My Socks off in 2009." Now many of these are obvious - getting married, being an aunt again, etc. But since I never really stated any resolutions for this year, I'm going to use this one to set out a few goals instead. Because goal-meeting = socks rocked, right?

1. Eat more seasonally, with more planning. Some of you know I'm a fairly conscious eater anyway - I try my best to practice what I preach about eating as much locally-grown, humanely treated, organic food as possible, and I love to cook with fresh ingredients. But I know that I can do better, particularly when it comes to eating seasonally. For example, while enjoying some to-die-for heirloom tomatoes in my salad the other day, I heard the voice of Barbara Kingsolver in my ear and knew that January and tomatoes - even heirlooms - come with a price. I'd like to rely more on the farmer's market and less on produce sections, and doing so means adjusting my expectations of variety and making the time to shop smarter. I'd love to become a weekly meal-planner, rather than visiting the market a few times a week. What would it take for me to get there?

2. Shape up and find peace, without obsessing. Like many of us, I am absolutely my own worst critic. I'm more of a health person than a fitness person, but have accepted the role the gym can and should play in my life, particularly with the wedding approaching. While I've been enjoying the results of my amped-up efforts, I'm not sure if that inner critic of mine will ever be silenced. Will I reach a goal? Is there a goal? I'd like to put on The Dress and feel amazing, but regardless of how much working out I do between now and then, will my head ever really let me feel amazing, no matter what others say? I'm not sure, and the more I try and figure out the mind/body balance, the more my only answer is "work harder." I recognize the disconnect there. So... how do I find the peace?

3. Re-focus my career. This is a biggie. For someone who used to be inspired left and right (okay, mostly left) and could've chosen any of several career paths, I'm now sitting inside of one that doesn't excite or challenge me, doesn't utilize my biggest strengths, and leaves me bored and disconnected from communities and positive change. Not fixing this problem has been a decision of logistics more than anything, but when I think seriously about this situation, the fact that I'm wasting time and perpetuating my professional unhappiness is unavoidable. More than that: what are the effects of this situation on other parts of my life? How could everything be enhanced and improved by that big fix? Besides all the big things going on this year, in 2009 I need to take charge of my career again and be proactive about the change I want to see. It's the directive I'd advise to anyone else, and not doing it myself is beyond hypocritical.

Can I tackle these biggies in 2009?

I'll be back soon with something more fun than resolutions, promise. :-)

Toot.

Well hey... lil' ol' me was featured on the In Style Weddings blog today! Blushing!!

This is how I feel about that (okay actually, it's just another excuse to post a low-resolution screen shot engagement pic until I get the digital files):



Wheeeeee!!!


Happy Weekend, everyone!

Hooray!

After seeing this on Monday, I raced off to purchase one of these Hooray! flags made by etsy seller So Inviting. They do custom colors for weddings and offer discount pricing based on quantity and details like ribbons. I must report, they are adorable.

For a reception getaway where sparklers aren't allowed (those grinches!), my wheels are turning.

Hmmmm......

Charmed twice over

1. I decided when I moved here that the only way to survive Dallas would be to get the joke. And how well does Kate set this one up for us? Next week should be hilarious. Because you all know how concerned I am with Highland Park etiquette...

2. So much sweetness over at Veiled Vows, I can barely stand it. Two German children (ages five and six!) run away to marry each other, packing swim trunks and taking a sister as their witness? I burst.

My life was incomplete...

...without Tacky Weddings, and I never even knew it.











WOW.

I heart this image

Folk art inspiration + blue and red? I'm in. Via Night Owl Paper Goods.






Red rosette thank you cards and tote.











You can get 25% off anything at Night Owl Paper Goods right now by using the code friend08. I've already purchased one Christmas gift from them, so trust me when I say they have lots of goodies for under your tree!

Save the Dates Brooklyn Bride-style

Fun! Our Save the Dates are featured over on Brooklyn Bride today! Go see.

Cuter digs

Doing a little home improvement around here, as you can see. I think the goal is to force a smile every time I look at this page. Cute fonts and bright colors are pretty much a guarantee for me. I'm easy that way.

Blogging excitement!

One of my favorite stops for all things weddings-on-the-web, Southern Weddings, just revamped their site to offer even more yumminess. Particularly exciting for me is their new Southern Bride Blogger directory, featuring yours truly! Go check out what's new over on SW... the eye candy is almost too good to be true. :-)