Something has been bothering me in wedding bloglandia, folks. From my comfy yet busy perch seven weeks out from my own wedding, I'm noticing a lot of judgment flying around on my Google Reader. What's especially problematic is how much of this judgment is cloaked in non-judgmental robes.
Here's the thing. Any sane and goodhearted person would never look down upon or deride a small-budget wedding for what it lacked. Why, then, is it so popular to make fun of weddings that cost more than we want to spend, or incorporated elements that are outside our own priorities? I'm not talking about "Platinum Weddings," either. I mean weddings with matching decor, or weddings with DIY details that took time and effort and amounted to real cost savings, or weddings that came to fruition through the help of a binder featuring inspiration photos, vendor contracts, RSVP lists, and the like? These are not outrageous elements if they represent who the couple is and if said couple enjoys such details.
Personally, I think of wedding blogs as a resource for inspiration as well as implementation. Much of what's out there doesn't appeal to me; much of it does but is either out of our budget or not quite right for our wedding; some of it is fantastic. What's helpful or not is different to each of us, and honestly, isn't it better that way? Take inspiration where you will, tweak it to suit you, and keep moving. Just because a blog continues to spotlight invitations after you've already selected or made yours, or is showing new DIY projects after your slate is full, doesn't mean it's time for an identity crisis. Don't we have a little more confidence than that?
I think weddings have more potential to be personal now than ever. More and more, couples are ditching the traditions that don't speak to them, infusing the event with their personality, and throwing a wedding that could be no one else's. That's a great thing. We should celebrate such differences.
This wedding the two of us are having? It's not right for you. It's right for us. And it's not a cookie-cutter wedding. It's not a budget wedding. It's not a DIY wedding. It's not a traditional wedding. It's not an indie wedding. It's a little of all of those things, shaped as strangely as we are. Both of my parents are walking me down the aisle, we're honoring LGBT struggles for marriage equality in our own way, our ceremony will be interactive and funny, we love our readings, and we have quirky invitations that could be no one else's but our own. Also? The wedding will match, and I will be wearing a white dress, and I'll also be rocking expensive red shoes. Not because I feel like I have to, but because I want to. Those choices don't make me better or worse than you, but they're my choices. And the only priorities that matter are those of the two people getting married.
Back to basics, then: What kind of wedding do you want to throw? How do you want to say I Do? What inspires you out there? How will your wedding reflect your priorities? None of us are the same, nor should we be. Judging others for having different priorities than yours regarding their own wedding is the kind of commentary I'm really not very interested in reading.