Election Day :-)

Here's my view this morning while I peacefully eat breakfast before the madness begins... a so-brilliant-the-ocean-glares kind of day:

And look what I just spotted getting wheeled over for setup... OUR FLOWER POMANDERS!!


Yesterday was an insane amount of fun... a morning kayaking with 30 of my favorite people, followed by a Welcome Cookout that was homey and raucous and touching and FUN all at once.

Today's all about getting ready with my girls and getting this thing DONE!

Here's what I'll be wearing today, in case you were wondering:

Much more on that later. For now, there's some marrying to do!

I finally love my dress

Yesterday was my final dress fitting, and I really think it was the first time in my long, painful dress-shopping process that I actually fell completely in love with my dress.

Better late than never, right?

I don't know if my late-bloomer love is because the wedding's almost here and now I can envision how well all the pieces are falling into place, or if people finally being nice to me matters, or if I'm just weird, but I'm so happy that I finally love it, because I think it will show at the wedding.

I love how ME this dress is. Every element of the dress is reflected in the clothes I normally wear. So I look like myself in it, just dressed up a notch. Which means I'm exceedingly at ease in it.

I love how well the dress fits me. All the little spots that I was concerned about, I've worked hard enough to make them non-issues. And honestly, as much as it pained me to pay so much money for alterations, I now understand how well-spent that money really was. She's made the tiniest of adjustments in places that seemed to me to fit just fine. Only now, they really fit, and I can see what a difference it makes.

I love the way the dress fits our wedding. When I'm wearing the dress and someone asks me about the wedding, as soon as I say "beach," they begin to nod. To me, this dress perfectly embodies the feel and setting of our wedding. It's a seaside affair, but kinda vintage chic, too.

I love how the dress looks with beachy skin. I've been fair-skinned every time I've put it on, but now, with a little more color, the dress just pops. Also, I love how red lips look with tanned skin. The shock of the lipstick I've been trying to get over? That's because in the winter I'm a modern Snow White. Which I actually enjoy, in the winter. But now, with a more bronzed glow, the red is fantastic. Not too much at all. Just really festive and fun.

I love that you can see my red shoes when I walk. They make me so happy. Yesterday they made two strangers smile, too. I just cannot say enough about my red shoes. Best wedding accessory decision I've made, hands down.

I love how comfortable the dress is. It's so light and simple, I could sleep in it. I'd decided that for our After-Party I'd change into a white strapless sundress my sister wore to her rehearsal dinner five years ago along with my fantastic seersucker pumps, in order to match my groom. But to be honest, I'm really not sure I'm going to want to take this thing off. EVER.

So the big reveal, then? I'll schedule some posts to go up the weekend of the wedding and the following week. Because you know I can't let the f-word in on the surprise. Until then, there's always Not My Dress to help narrow it down...

Finally loving my wedding dress feels a little bit like victory, I must say. Safe travels to North Carolina, loved one!

Dress Fitting #2

40 days out today, whoa. I've been enjoying a mental wedding break during all the bachelorette hoopla, and it's been really good for me to let things be for a while. But now it's time to face reality/make remaining decisions/finish projects... so back to it!

In that respect, this afternoon I'm going to my second dress fitting with my bridesmaid Heather. I'm not nervous at all this time, just excited and ready to dig into the details of how the dress is fitting. In other words, it's time for some serious arm and back inspections...

On that note, did everyone see Kate's wedding reflections post today? Great gems there, including why you shouldn't obsess over how your arms and back appear in your wedding dress. Hmmm.....

By the way (and completely unrelated), Drew Barrymore is totally wearing my wedding makeup here. Yay Drew! Looking forward to your incarnation of Edie.

Local self esteem boosters unite!

Okay, so the dress fitting just got postponed for thirty minutes, which is maybe kinda sorta fate (if I believed in that... to be continued...) saying I needed the extra time at my office for the following two things to occur:

• I got the nicest note ever from Jaydee at An Accidental Texan about my dress fitting post. Then, she followed up with a post of her own. Can emotionally healthy women in this state who are not size zero and don't want to be size zero please raise your hands?! Love it! Jaydee, you have a new reader. (And many, I hope... go read Jaydee!)
  
  
• I got an e-mail from Kate reminding me that since she can see the store I'm going to from her office, she could meet me for my fitting and be ready to "backhand Frenchie if she speaks one negative syllable!" To which I tried to protest that since she's getting married on Saturday she probably shouldn't leave work because she has so much to do and (wait - seriously? why would I not want a fellow sane person with me in the salon of snobbiness?!)... Anyway, cut to me coming to my senses and Kate replying that she will be there "with Bitch Bells on!" And she is my hero.

To be continued....

UPDATE: Victory! Everyone was on their best behavior, probably because Amazon Goddess Kate was sending subconscious threats from up above. I even managed to schedule the next fitting for when Heather the Bridesmaid is in town... woo hoo! And now I'm laid back watching Disc 3: Gowns from the 4-DVD Martha Stewart Weddings collection while the F-Word is passed out from his medicated back condition next to me. Fun for all!

Ego and the Evil Empire: Final Chapter

As I have written about before, I did not have a happy wedding dress-shopping experience. At this very moment, my dress is in my car in the basement parking garage of my office, where there is routine flooding and leaking, and it's raining today. You might think that would be make me feel jumpy, but it's actually nothing compared to the uneasiness I have about going in for my first dress fitting this afternoon.

First things first: the dress fits beautifully. All that needs to be done is hemming in two places and perhaps creating a tiny bustle. I'm not worried about the mechanics of it. I'm not even very worried about the cost of said alterations anymore, although at one point I was so pissed about the continued rip-off-ness that is anything with the word "wedding" attached to it, I considered going elsewhere. A few smart warnings and the enticement of the store shipping the finished dress to NC for me, thus preventing the need to travel with it, changed my mind. So no, the price isn't even what has me so jumpy today.

The problem goes back to where we started with this whole shopping experience: this town, this and other stores, and the people I'll be hanging out with in my underwear later today (save for one, but I fear the fact that since she lost her job and is coming back only for our appointment, her mood won't be top-notch). The entire experience has from the beginning made me feel crappy about myself, and I'm dreading my return trip. (Unfortunately, my sidekick is otherwise engaged being six and a half months pregnant right now, so unavailable for "biatch alert.") I'm not sure if my terrible dress-shopping experiences say more about Dallas (a vanity-obsessed skinnytown), or my bad luck running into awful people, or my bad choices about where I went shopping in the first place, but my normal, confident self knows all of these things for a fact:

• I am not "too broad" to wear wedding dresses, as I've been told by the people trying to sell me wedding dresses
  
• I do not have "very large" hips (imagine that said in a condescending Parisian accent, FYI), but even if I did, screw them!
  
• I actually look great in the dress that I chose, and when I try it on in my own environment, I feel fantastic in it
  
• Women of all shapes and sizes deserve to have a dress-shopping experience that makes them feel great about themselves
• Places that make potential customers feel bad about themselves do not deserve their money
• I am smarter than to put up with so much attitude

And yet...

Here I am, sitting in my office surrounded by items of professional accomplishment and tokens that are important to me: photos of loved ones, snippets of my published past, my "I Like the Smell of Newsprint in the Morning" coffee mug, some outrageously fun new "campaign stickers" for the wedding, and my general air of confident, optimistic calm. But all I can think about is how I'm going to strategize undressing and putting on the gown alone in order to prevent a snarky size comment from the seamstress again, or how I should've worked out yesterday, or how maybe I should rethink my nixing of Spanx, and blahblahblah. Frankly, it's embarrassing. I am smarter and more confident than this. Two months out from our wedding, I don't want to put up with second-guessing and passive-agressive comments that subtly recommend a brief eating disorder as I aerobicize my way to May 24.

Really, can't they be just a little bit nicer and give me a break? Just this once?

I am totally that girl

...who walked around in her wedding dress tonight while the f-word was playing hockey. But only to make sure it worked with the newly purchased lingerie. Obvs.

hee hee hee...... :-)

Surprise!

I received a shocking call this weekend: my dress was ready, nearly 2 months early!

I thought I'd have time to mentally adjust to the idea of the dress being ready, that I'd have all my accessories in place by the time it arrived, and (of course) that my amped-up workout regimen would have been old news by then. Nope.

So I rushed up there with stand-in heels and a boring strapless bra and... ta da! It fits! It looks like me! Alterations will be minimal! It could not be more lightweight and comfortable and beachy. It is... mine!

Craziness!

Public Service Announcement to all Dress-Shoppers:

You remember how Sak's is closing most of their bridal salons? There are major, major deals to be had right now. At the salon my dress is from, the former pristine waiting area is now crammed full of dresses hanging from racks marked 40-70% off. Some of the prices are unbelievable - mostly Vera Wangs where I was, but I imagine lots more designers available elsewhere. Really - you can score your dream dress for a fraction of the cost if the sample sizes work for you. Definitely worth a visit!

The economy and my dress [order]

My f-word has been half-jokingly predicting for a couple of months that Saks Fifth Avenue is going out of business. His job is to notice little things like stock prices, and they've been looking pretty dismal. Why is this a cause for concern, you ask? Well, Sak's is where I ordered my dress. The Dress. So we began thinking: if Sak's goes under, what happens to my dress order? Would the manufacturer just take over the order? Would Sak's rush all existing orders to finish them early? Would the orders be canceled with refunds? Those questions, of course, led me to wonder what I might do were I faced with having to order another dress. Would I pick the same one? Would I use Not My Dress as a shopping guide?

Yesterday I received a letter in the mail from, uh oh, Sak's Fifth Avenue. A long letter. With business cards attached. Double uh oh.

After a longwinded intro about how happy Sak's is that I've chosen them to be part of my "special day," they dropped the bomb. Turns out, Sak's has decided to close all of their bridal salons except for New York and Beverly Hills. So my local spot, with the incredible Mogda (one of the only nice people I met in the entire local Industrial Wedding Complex), will be no more. They say all existing dress orders are safe, protected, guaranteed for the same services/fittings/alterations they always were, they just won't continue selling gowns in 2009.

But... hmmm.... it still feels kind of weird, right?

Morning coffee

Out on the back patio, with a cup of coffee and my dress swatch. :-)

I'm off to North Carolina for the weekend... Home Sweet Home!

We found it.

SUCCESS! After a fun morning of try-ons (so that's what I look like in the wedding cake topper dress...), we had a serious contender, but one more dress across town that I had to have Lisa see me in. As soon as I walked out in it, she announced that our work was done.

Whew! Sweet relief!



This is how great I feel in the dress. It really is the only one I've tried on that makes me grin.


(Wait, you didn't think I was going to post a full photo of me in the dress, did you?)








As bonus good news, the J. Crew bridesmaid dress we ordered fit Lisa perfectly and looks adorable! Here she is with Mr. Switters totally checking her out.



Lisa needs Heather, Morgan, and Avery beside her!












You know, when you have a day as full of happy dress-up experiences as this one was, you just might need to celebrate that night. Heartily.



Two sisters, on the floor (?!?!) of the Granada Theater after an Ani Difranco show.


Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Maid of Honor to the Rescue!

To my great delight and relief, my sister Lisa is flying in tomorrow morning to help me get through the eleventh hour of choosing The Dress.

It's been a long white road, as we know, but here's what I've found so far:

• I don't want poufiness, heaviness, formality, or beading
• Sheath and trumpet gowns that are fitted and have open necklines are the most flattering
  
• Clean, unbeaded lace is my favorite fabric, which feels appropriate for an outdoor, seaside wedding where the rest of the wedding party will be wearing cotton (Plus, my mom wore lace!)
  
• I want the dress to be more fun than serious, and I want to be able to slip it on easily and not have to carry it around all night

So why, then, haven't I been able to make a decision yet?

Mostly, I think, because when it's just me with the bridal consultant and a camera, it's hard to get beyond a dress being pretty to a dress being mine. (Especially when half of them are the equivalent of a street size 4, they're pinned together in the back, and there's too much boob showing.) I've taken pictures of nearly every dress I've liked and sent them out, but then family and friends are voting on dresses based on the angle of my hips, the lighting in the store, the skill of the consultant-turned-photographer, or what size the sample happens to be. I've yet to see a photo that captures how I feel in a certain dress; that can only happen live. I need someone who's known me her whole life, who has vision to see beyond the dress size on my body at the moment, and who gets the dress rules I want to follow. I need Lisa.

Our adventures begin Friday morning at 11:30 a.m, and Lisa has promised to be on "biatch alert." Stay tuned!!! And thanks, sis. Seriously.

Dear Bitchy Bridal Boutique,

I'm so sorry I decided to stop in last week. My mistake.

I'm so sorry that as a size 8, I am too "broad" to fit your idea of what a bride is supposed to look like.

I'm so sorry that you typically don't have an issue with your sample sizes fitting girls who walk into your boutique. How uncomfortable for you that I would be the first ever.

I'm so sorry that you had to struggle for ideas about what could possibly be done to make my shoulders look daintier and less "athletic" and, your favorite word again, "broad."

I'm so sorry that you felt the need to stay silent when I tried to explain that since my body is what it is - and my fiancee happens to love it - I should not try to lose my curves before the wedding or find a dress that unnecessarily contained them. That must have been awkward for you.

I'm sorry that as a "broad" girl (wait, make that "soooo broad") with boobs and hips and a butt, you had to bother explaining to me that my "choices are very limited" in the world of wedding gowns. I should have known that already.

And you know, I'm so sorry that I'm even bothering having a wedding anyway. It's pathetic, isn't it? Should someone as "broad" as me even try to look like a bride?

Finally, I'm oh so sorry that you had to waste your time helping me when there are legions of worthy brides in Dallas, TX who fit into all of your dresses perfectly. Since the sample sizes "are usually too big, not too small," please know I will not bother you again with my broadness.

One other thing, bitchy bridal store: I hate you. I'm really sorry for you that you are unable to see past something as arbitrary as a person's size in order to outfit all shapes and body types in your store. Not only are you missing out on most of womankind as customers, you're also missing out on the variety, fun, and surprise that life can offer. You will die an early death because of your small (not "broad"), clouded vision, mark my words.

Sincerely,
"Broad Bride," temporarily in Dallas, TX

Second-guessing the details

As fun and exciting as planning a wedding is, I know that everyone has moments of doubt about wedding details. Lately I'm doing all sorts of second-guessing. For instance:

• Colors. I haven't seen any swoon-worthy shoes in coral or peach, and the idea of white shoes is so very blah. (Let's not even discuss Dyeables, and I know I can find decent metallics but that's not exciting me right now, either.) The shoe dilemma has me second-guessing our entire color plan. What if I should be using hues that represent the ocean? Don't I need a darker complementary color that's not in the same color family? These shoes are worth turning the entire wedding blue and green, for instance. They're that gorgeous. What about blue-ish and peach/orange? What about navy blue? I could be just as happy with casual blue suits for the guys as I am with khaki ones. There are loads of fabulous hot pink shoes to choose from, as well. So are we back to pink and orange, then? Or do I stick with my plan and just wear the blue shoes as a "something blue" even if they don't match the rest of the wedding? Of course, my absolute favorite color, apple green, is still out of contention as a primary color because I feel like it's too non-beachy. Sigh...

• Officiant. Our top-secret officiant plan might be off. Now what to do? Go with an officiant who's been recommended but who still doesn't know us? That feels so generic and out of synch with our creative ceremony/vow ideas, but we might have to change course.
  

• The Dress. I thought I found my dress a month or so ago, and since I'm such an early bird I'm taking advantage of an October trunk show to order it, when I'll get a discount. But that gives me all sorts of time to question it. What if it's not the right dress? What if I should be trying on dresses every week until then to be sure? What if I end up wishing I'd gone with something fun and tea-length, or a different material, or a different neckline? What if it photographs badly? What about how I wanted the dress to zip up effortlessly and casually and feel confident enough not to wear steel trappings underneath? Is that only possible if I'm in the gym 15 hours a week until May? And what about Trevor's insistence that I not get all "crazy bride shrink-down" on him?

• The Logistics. What if in the end our wedding is too much trouble for the people we really want to attend to get to? We're trying to make things easy for folks, but there's still extensive travel and expenses involved. What if all the rooms fill up too fast? What if the rental house coordination doesn't happen? What if everyone waits too long to plan it (despite our early Save the Dates) and it becomes too much for them to deal with?

Ahhh! I want my clarity back! :-)

Antiquated Traditions: The White Wedding Dress

In The Bizarre Origins of 8 Wedding Traditions, Jenn Thompson dissects some of our most tried-and-true American wedding traditions.

The White Wedding Dress
...there was a time when a bride’s wedding attire was simply the best thing in her closet (talk about “off the rack”), and could be any color, even black. To convince her groom that she came from a wealthy family, brides would also pile on layers of fur, silk and velvet, as apparently grooms didn’t care if his wife-to-be reeked of sweaty B.O. as long as she was loaded. It was dear ol’ Queen Victoria (whose reign lasted from 1837-1901) who made white fashionable. She wore a pale gown trimmed in orange blossoms for her 1840 wedding to her first cousin, Prince Albert.

How interesting that our interpretation of white as a chaste, virginal color isn't even part of the tradition's conception. I'd venture a guess that most people make that association; I certainly did. I hated the idea of wearing the traditional "chaste" color while so obviously not being chaste myself (sorry, Mom). But when it came down to it, I decided to wear white for the following reasons:

• When else am I going to wear a white dress?

• Sometimes I can be strangely old-fashioned. Maybe this is one of those times.

• Great photos

• Not having to defend the decision on our wedding day

As for white v. ivory, white feels beachier and more outdoorsy than ivory, and looks better with a light suit.

Trevor actually loved the idea of me wearing a short, flirty dress ("you have the stems for it"), but that damn old-fashionedness is coming into play again with the length... And to be honest, I think of huge dresses as being more antiquated than those that are white or just long. My dress will be decidedly fitted, and I think I've even managed to keep the cleavage in check!

As for being draped in furs and gold? Trevor already knows that I don't have any money. ;-)