Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Second-guessing the details

As fun and exciting as planning a wedding is, I know that everyone has moments of doubt about wedding details. Lately I'm doing all sorts of second-guessing. For instance:
  • Colors. I haven't seen any swoon-worthy shoes in coral or peach, and the idea of white shoes is so very blah. (Let's not even discuss Dyeables, and I know I can find decent metallics but that's not exciting me right now, either.) The shoe dilemma has me second-guessing our entire color plan. What if I should be using hues that represent the ocean? Don't I need a darker complementary color that's not in the same color family? These shoes are worth turning the entire wedding blue and green, for instance. They're that gorgeous. What about blue-ish and peach/orange? What about navy blue? I could be just as happy with casual blue suits for the guys as I am with khaki ones. There are loads of fabulous hot pink shoes to choose from, as well. So are we back to pink and orange, then? Or do I stick with my plan and just wear the blue shoes as a "something blue" even if they don't match the rest of the wedding? Of course, my absolute favorite color, apple green, is still out of contention as a primary color because I feel like it's too non-beachy. Sigh...
  • Officiant. Our top-secret officiant plan might be off. Now what to do? Go with an officiant who's been recommended but who still doesn't know us? That feels so generic and out of synch with our creative ceremony/vow ideas, but we might have to change course.
  • The Dress. I thought I found my dress a month or so ago, and since I'm such an early bird I'm taking advantage of an October trunk show to order it, when I'll get a discount. But that gives me all sorts of time to question it. What if it's not the right dress? What if I should be trying on dresses every week until then to be sure? What if I end up wishing I'd gone with something fun and tea-length, or a different material, or a different neckline? What if it photographs badly? What about how I wanted the dress to zip up effortlessly and casually and feel confident enough not to wear steel trappings underneath? Is that only possible if I'm in the gym 15 hours a week until May? And what about Trevor's insistence that I not get all "crazy bride shrink-down" on him?
  • The Logistics. What if in the end our wedding is too much trouble for the people we really want to attend to get to? We're trying to make things easy for folks, but there's still extensive travel and expenses involved. What if all the rooms fill up too fast? What if the rental house coordination doesn't happen? What if everyone waits too long to plan it (despite our early Save the Dates) and it becomes too much for them to deal with?
Ahhh! I want my clarity back! :-)


Sasha said...

Um, how do you have this much time to second guess when you've been obsessively watching the DNC? Don't you live for that? However, those shoes are totally worth not matching the rest of the wedding to have. And kudos to Trevor for not wanting you to go all shrinky on him... I always think that it is really strange for the wedding photos to show a bride that basically never exists again because she lost soo much weight just for that special occasion. (Also, if you get shoes as equally fab as those who cares if you are the skinniest-- you already have the best shoes!)

Maggie said...

Ha ha... fitting too much in is how I deal with living in this city for the time-being. ;-) So yep: live-blogging the DNC all week, wedding blogging when it suits me, working, working out to feel great in dress without starving ;-), traveling like crazy, the usual...

Loving the shoe support!

Heather from the bar said...

Oh honey. OK, for the shoes, find some cute blue ones for your something blue, or just wait a bit and you will find some in your colors, don't switch everything around just for the shoes which won't really be seen by too many people anyways.
For the officiant... I don't know :)
The dress: I bought mine super early too, and I definitely second guess when I see so many other ones, but then all I do is go look at mine, or rather pictures of me trying it on since it is at my moms, and I am happy with my decision again.
The logistics: it will work out. breathe :)
This is why girls get stuck being called bridezilla, because we are forced to plan this party that everyone has expectations of and we have to figure out how to please ourselves and them... As long as we focus on what we want, on throwing a fun party, and on marrying the one we love, it will all work out in one way or another :)

Maggie said...

Very sweet... I can't stand that whole bridezilla deal and certainly have no intentions of going there! My problem is that I always put too much pressure on myself and none on other people. Could that be an internalized bridezella? Does that exist?!

And the shoe debate really represents general color concerns. I'll find fab shoes no matter what. I'm kind of a shoe hound that way. ;-)

Maggie said...

Also... I think I'm going to go by at least one more place to look at dresses. It's easy and right on the way home. Can't hurt, right?

Susan said...

OK Maggie, time to take a deep breath and put the fun back in planning the event. At the end of your wedding day some things will have gone much better than expected and there will always be one things that kicks your butt. But, I am confident that those people that make the effort to be with ya'll on that special day will be overjoyed to have been part of the event and will have a wonderful time. In the end, what matters the most is whether you and Trevor end the evening feeling great about your day. Stick to your instincts. Give yourself the freedom to explore all color possibilites up until January or so. Then make your decisions and we will get it all done without an extraordinary amount of stress.