Tuesday, January 6, 2009

On gifting

I was recently asked why our registry information wasn't included on our wedding website. Part of me feels strongly that asking for gifts just isn't polite. And as I know from personal experience as a wedding guest, the circumstances of your life sometimes mean that the costs associated with simply attending a wedding can be pretty steep. Those costs might multiply if, say, air travel, car rentals, the beach, and a holiday weekend are involved (ahem). So I'd hate for it to appear as if I expect to be flooded with Shun knives come May.

That said, though (and speaking of the Shuns), I really do like our registries, would love to improve my kitchen and my cooking with what's on those registries, and some people expect to use wedding registries to shop for a wedding gift. Making that information more accessible to those guests is a favor to them.

So after some thought, here's the text that I came up with for the wedding website. I'm comfortable with the options it gives our friends and family: full permission not to gift, to give creative gifts, or to buy us that Hollow-Ground Chef's Knife we've had our eye on.

Gifts?

We genuinely hope each of you are able to attend our wedding. Please consider your presence your gift to us, given the time and costs associated with traveling to the Outer Banks. We're so excited to bring all of you to one spot for a few days! And we mean it - bring yourselves and get ready to celebrate!

Things we also love in addition to your presence: wine and spirits, handmade anything, charitable contributions, poems/songs/odes, and creativity!



But if you still insist on knowing the stuff we stock our kitchen with (fantastic knives! great cookware! red dishes!), here are our wedding registries:

How'd I do?

6 comments:

mjae said...

Struck the perfect tone, I think.

I feel totally free not to get you a damn thing! :)

Okay, okay. What I mean is that I realize now I gotta get to work on that poem!

Susan said...

Great job Maggie - it takes the pressure off for everyone!

Heather from the bar said...

Looks great! Covers all the bases!

Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kate said...

I think that is fabulous! Well done... now my website feels guilty for being so gimme, gimme in comparison ;)

A said...

I'm planning just to list the registries without explanation. Just like I've done at every wedding I've attended, and like everyone else I know who gets invited to weddings, I consider registries to be a guide to what the couple wants, which I will buy from if I can and won't if I can't.

But I think what you wrote, if you're inclined to write anything by way of explanation, strikes a good balance between "here's what we want" and "just come and celebrate with us" and I'm sure no one would find it "gift-grubbing" at all.