Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Not My Dress: Amsale (with bonus rant)

In another case of bridal models making dresses look icky, but real women filling them out beautifully, I offer Amsale.

Scary robot model:

Gorgeous real bride (via Snippet & Ink), with an absolutely lovely wedding and the same Amsale gown that is perfect on her:

As we can see now, this dress is really beautiful. (But Not My Dress!)

You know, there are countless examples of really unappealing modeling in the bridal world. One line I love uses the most sickly, prepubescent model I've ever seen in its advertisements. Why? Is that a look I'd want for my wedding day? Absolutely not. In fact, I've already achieved that look - when I came home from school sick with the flu as a 14-year-old.

Let's play The Wedding Gown Advertisement Drinking Game:

Directions: Take a look through any bridal magazine and peek at the gown ads. Take one shot every time you see:
  • A bride frowning
  • A bride contorting her upper back in an awkward "high fashion" pose
  • A bride looking like she's about to throw up
  • A bride who no one thinks will actually make it down the aisle
  • A bride with washed-out skin and the always-fetching nude, chapped lip
  • A bride with insane, just-ran-through-the-forest-in-a-windstorm hair
  • A bride surrounded by hilariously slutty-looking bridesmaids, who look like they hate each other
  • A bride lounging provocatively in a car near an attractive man who is most definitely not the groom
  • A bride who has clearly just fled the scene with an usher or waiter
  • A bride living out her fairytale fantasy with the hugest, most heinous dress you can imagine (Sidenote: These ad campaigns, usually lower-end than the rest I've listed, tend to use models that look far older than their couture counterparts. Also, tons of eye makeup. Hmmm....)
What am I missing? Does it really matter? Because I think we all know that on this Wednesday morning, we would be wasted if we were actually playing.


The F-Word said...

thhhat wuzzz ah superrr fun gaame...thxnuioh/&

Kate said...

hehe F-word!

My mom would REALLY enjoy this game - the soundtrack to my dress buying experience is Jan M. asking all the shop-girls why wedding dress models are never smiling and always look like they just got out of the ED Wing... as if they were the ones styling for ML and Vera.

My favorites are the Vera models from a year ago with the totally obvious upper-lip fuzz and the unibrows... maybe she was inspired by Frida Kahlo?