Monday, October 27, 2008

Insecurities: Center of Attention

I have a strange goal for our wedding day: to deflect as much attention away from myself as possible. Here's how I've finagled some spotlight-sharing so far:
  • Being walked down the aisle by both of my parents means one extra person for guests to look at besides me!

  • Having a bagpiper leading the groom and his crew to their positions means I'm not the only one making an "entrance"-- thank goodness

  • My maid of honor will be so extremely pregnant, her water might just break during the ceremony - attention deflection guaranteed!
  • What's the deal here, you ask? It's not really a "shy" thing. I'm not a shy person, and compared to many of my closest friends am actually fairly extroverted. I'm a fantastic dinner party companion, for example, and can make conversation with just about anyone. I actually excel in "spotlight" situations professionally - I routinely lead public meetings and give presentations, and am just fine with it. But for whatever reason, I much prefer being a supporting member in personal situations rather than the star. I hate the idea of being thrown a surprise party, for instance - I'd much rather plan something low-key in a comfortable setting instead. And if shoes walk too "loudly," I will always nix them in the store. Same for overly-jangly bracelets, too much perfume, or talking loudly on a cell phone in a public place. In many ways, I am understated to a fault.

    Scene: Last week at a bar with one of our groomsmen.
    Groomsman: So how excited are you about the wedding?

    Me: We're really pumped! It's going to be a ton of fun.

    Groomsman: I bet you can't wait to have everyone looking at you and being all hot and stuff.

    Me: Actually, I'm kind of dreading that part. I hate the idea of everyone staring at me all day.

    [silence, confused expression]

    Me: Seriously.
    See, a wedding, to me, is not just about "The Bride." My wedding's not, anyway. (Good thing I'm marrying someone who will happily absorb any attention I'm uncomfortable with for himself. ;-) ) But seriously... I envision our wedding as a weekend full of fun activities rather than a big reveal. I'd like folks to remember our vows before they remember my dress, to remember our pre-wedding beach cookout before they remember our reception entrance, and to remember the way we looked at each other before they remember simply how I looked. That feels right to me.

    Are there any other attention-splitters out there?

    4 comments:

    Heather from the bar said...

    Loved that last paragraph :) We definitely planned our day to be about us coming together as one, but also about our friends and family coming together as one as well :)

    Your F-word said...

    your fiance sounds vain...

    ABCD Designs P A P E R C U P P said...

    I tell you what ... I was so shocked to see EVERYONE who means ANYTHING staring at me -What was I thinking it would be like? I have no idea. Anyway, I laughed the entire way down the aisle! Out of complete "oh-my-god-they-are-all-watching-me" nervous energy I laughed! Also, if your nervous about having all eyes on you, the last thing you need to remember is fancy footwork during your first dance. Just dance. We were supposed to be doing the fox trot and I could not remember one step of it, because of all those eyes staring at me!

    maggie said...

    I can totally see myself laughing hysterically... and there is no need to worry about me planning any fancy footwork, I assure you!