Wedding blog PSA

Something has been bothering me in wedding bloglandia, folks. From my comfy yet busy perch seven weeks out from my own wedding, I'm noticing a lot of judgment flying around on my Google Reader. What's especially problematic is how much of this judgment is cloaked in non-judgmental robes.

Here's the thing. Any sane and goodhearted person would never look down upon or deride a small-budget wedding for what it lacked. Why, then, is it so popular to make fun of weddings that cost more than we want to spend, or incorporated elements that are outside our own priorities? I'm not talking about "Platinum Weddings," either. I mean weddings with matching decor, or weddings with DIY details that took time and effort and amounted to real cost savings, or weddings that came to fruition through the help of a binder featuring inspiration photos, vendor contracts, RSVP lists, and the like? These are not outrageous elements if they represent who the couple is and if said couple enjoys such details.

Personally, I think of wedding blogs as a resource for inspiration as well as implementation. Much of what's out there doesn't appeal to me; much of it does but is either out of our budget or not quite right for our wedding; some of it is fantastic. What's helpful or not is different to each of us, and honestly, isn't it better that way? Take inspiration where you will, tweak it to suit you, and keep moving. Just because a blog continues to spotlight invitations after you've already selected or made yours, or is showing new DIY projects after your slate is full, doesn't mean it's time for an identity crisis. Don't we have a little more confidence than that?

I think weddings have more potential to be personal now than ever. More and more, couples are ditching the traditions that don't speak to them, infusing the event with their personality, and throwing a wedding that could be no one else's. That's a great thing. We should celebrate such differences.

This wedding the two of us are having? It's not right for you. It's right for us. And it's not a cookie-cutter wedding. It's not a budget wedding. It's not a DIY wedding. It's not a traditional wedding. It's not an indie wedding. It's a little of all of those things, shaped as strangely as we are. Both of my parents are walking me down the aisle, we're honoring LGBT struggles for marriage equality in our own way, our ceremony will be interactive and funny, we love our readings, and we have quirky invitations that could be no one else's but our own. Also? The wedding will match, and I will be wearing a white dress, and I'll also be rocking expensive red shoes. Not because I feel like I have to, but because I want to. Those choices don't make me better or worse than you, but they're my choices. And the only priorities that matter are those of the two people getting married.

Back to basics, then: What kind of wedding do you want to throw? How do you want to say I Do? What inspires you out there? How will your wedding reflect your priorities? None of us are the same, nor should we be. Judging others for having different priorities than yours regarding their own wedding is the kind of commentary I'm really not very interested in reading.

For Amy: Summer Clambake Wedding

This inspiration board for Amy has me so excited that I'm already itching to attend!

You'll remember that my friend Amy is considering a late-summer outdoor wedding. She and I discussed some ideas for this concept: lakeside New England, laid-back, lots of lobsters and clams, and great punches of Chinese red through lanterns and flowers.

Here's my take on Amy and Darryl's Summer Clambake Wedding: festive and fun, crustaceans and shellfish galore (yum!), red as the dominant color (lanterns, decor, the Chinese Double Happiness symbol) with punches of yellow and white, and water and greenery as the backdrop to festive fireworks, sparklers, and a bonfire. Don't you want to go now?! Enjoy!

(As always, click for the bigger version)

For Amy: Chinese Winter Wedding

So my girl Amy is engaged! I am so thrilled for Amy and Darryl, and their story makes me so happy. Now living in New York, Amy and Darryl originally met during our first year of college in Boston, and reconnected years later. One of the things that's so fun about this engagement is that in our close group of four college girls, Tracy and Nancy got married within months of each other two years ago. It was such a fun time because we were able to see each other so much that year - a true treat. Now this year, it's our turn to host the girl group!

On to the wedding: Amy is considering either a winter wedding or a late summer wedding. If she goes with a winter wedding, she wouldn't want to wait until 2010, so it'd be this winter. I think this is doable in part because winter is the slowest season for weddings, so their choice of venues and vendors might still be fairly wide. Plus, I find the idea simply irresistible.

So before Amy rules out the winter wedding idea (it would involve immediate action, much more Darryl's strong suit than Amy's), I thought I'd craft an inspiration board around the possibility. Darryl's family is from China, and red is a dominant color in Chinese weddings, signifying good luck. Amy mentioned to me how elegant deep reds, silver, and gold might look in a winter setting, and I couldn't agree more. I took her idea and ran with it!

Chinese Winter Wedding
Black-tie elegance in a gilded hotel ballroom on a cold winter night... classic New York with a Chinese twist

(click to see it full size)

For Heather from 'We Met in a Bar'

(Which, by the way, is my all-time favorite wedding blog name... as part of a fellow bar meet-up couple (lushes!), it speaks to me)

A fantastic yellow wedding, with splendid touches of gray (her colors). Just gorgeous. It also features the cutest girl in a yellow dress I have ever seen. The boys aren't too bad either:





Swooning! Hello handsome!