Eat, Drink, Marry

Brides Magazine Feature!

2010-04-05T09:20:00.000-05:00

Our wedding is featured in the May 2010 issue of Brides Magazine! Here's the feature "Red White & True."

(click for larger images)

This will be my last post for Eat, Drink, Marry. It was great fun maintaining the blog during our wedding planning process, and added so much to the experience for me. My EAD wedding recap is here, and you can always find me here. I'll keep this blog as a testament to the twists and turns of making our little wedding ours, so enjoy it!

Happy planning, everyone!

Our wedding in print!

2009-12-15T14:13:00.003-06:00

Hi folks! Long time, no blogging!

We got some great news today... our wedding is going to be featured in a national wedding publication in the spring! In advance of that, they've asked that we take down our photos from blogs, so I'm going to temporarily remove the content on Eat, Drink, Marry to respect their wishes.

I'll turn the blog back on after the publication is out, because I've loved having it here as a resource for other weirdo/crafty/nerdy/patterned/bright brides, and have so enjoyed receiving your comments and e-mails this long after our wedding took place.

Thanks so much for all your support for our crazy beach party, and come say hi over at my permanent blog The Freckled Citizen.

Best of luck and happy planning to you all!

Love,
Maggie

Wedding recaps all week on EAD!

2009-08-17T08:00:00.004-05:00

You diehard Eat, Drink, Marry-ers already know the dirty details, of course, but in case you've missed the tales of how we pulled off our red, blue, patterned-out-the-wazoo wedding, come read my recaps on Elizabeth Anne Designs! I'll be there all week telling the story from scratch.

On a side note, it's tough writing about your wedding when you have to explain it all at once. Writing over here a little bit at a time - inside jokes understood, sarcasm appreciated, F-Word chiming in - was a whole different (easier) shebang. I'm exhausted!

Buckets of thanks to Ami at EAD for giving me the recap opportunity. Now, if only I could get my act together and send off those wedding submission packets for print magazines...

For the Love of Red Shoes!

2009-08-03T09:22:00.033-05:00

Inspired by Pink Galoshes' post on Valentino bow pumps this morning, I thought I'd do a little tribute to my own fabulous Valentino bow wedding shoes (in RED, of course!). Some of these images you've seen, but I've never put them all together. So in the name of flaming red "bridal" shoes... enjoy!

Also, Let me know what other wedding images/descriptions you guys would like to see here. I'll be posting a big recap over on EAD Weddings soon, but I can still fill in a few holes here, too, if you're interested. And remember, I'm blogging on a daily basis over on my new blog The Freckled Citizen (I posted about shoes there just this morning... old habits die hard), so come and visit me there for a dose of everyday, non-wedding talk, too. :-)

Now... on the red Valentino extravaganza!

Hi, blog! Nice to have you back again! GRRRR.....

2009-08-02T18:25:00.002-05:00

What should I learn from my blogging experience this weekend? It went something like this:

1. Coming home on Friday night and logging into Blogger to fix a (gasp!) typo on the top post at Freckled Citizen.

2. "Your Blogger account has been disabled." EEK.

3. Finding out that my various partners in crime for all three of my blogs - Trevor (The F-Word from Eat, Drink, Marry) and the lovely Marjorie and Mikaela from m-pyre - had been disabled, too.

4. While Freckled Citizen and m-pyre's URLs were still working (even though I couldn't access Blogger to create new posts or edit existing posts), Eat, Drink, Marry gave me the notice "This blog has been removed."

4. Seeing that an extremely large number of people were screaming their heads off over on the Blogger Help Forum about the exact same thing happening to them on Friday night. We're talking large-scale and massive frustration.

5. Leaving countless forum posts, filling out countless forms, sending endless tweets, and sending endless e-mails to Blogger/Google but receiving absolute, resounding silence from them... and seeing even more people plea for help all day Saturday on the forum or on Twitter.

6. Frustratingly waiting for resolve all weekend (when I normally don't blog anyway) wondering if I'd get my blogs back, what I'd do if they were permanently deleted, and basically bitching about unfair the whole thing was.

7. Sunday night... ta-da! My blogs and blog access reappeared.

Now am I supposed to be jumping up and down and thanking Blogger for returning my blogs to me? Well, no. Because it never should've happened in the first place. Is the answer here "you get what you pay for," which in Blogger's case, is nothing? Is migrating to Wordpress (which I'm not a fan of) the only solution?Anyone have any gems of wisdom ? Because to me this weekend is a big warning to run far away from Blogger, or risk it all happening again. Only, I'm not sure what action that implies. Sigh... any ideas?

First Glimpse

2009-07-23T08:46:00.028-05:00

Quick announcement before we move on to the pics... I switched my new blog url to one without a "the," so please change your bookmarks to http://www.freckledcitizen.com. Things might be in transition for a day or so, but all Blogger-supported links seem to work already. Thanks for reading!

Now back to the good stuff...

Trevor and I were among the growing number of couples who chose to see each other before the ceremony. It worked out really well, and was definitely the right decision for us. We took several family photos immediately following the ceremony, but that's really it... we were able to enjoy almost our entire cocktail hour. But what we loved most about taking our photos before the ceremony was that we were able to relax and really enjoy each other alone. By the time the ceremony rolled around, we were calm and joyous and laughing. I should seriously do a collage of all the ridiculous "Maggie cackling with her mouth wide open" shots from our ceremony, because there are about 20 of them. But you know what? I love that I was laughing so hard all the way through. We are kind of funny, after all... And I really think that doing these photos first was a way to help make all that laughter possible.

On to the First Glimpse!

All photos by Julie Dreelin of Beach Productions

I wish there was more of Trevor's face in these, but I still like them.

...and... shoe check! Which leads to the eventual shot that I love of those tall, skinny heels stuck in the rustic boards of our dock setting AGAIN (they also repeatedly pierced the lace in my dress... oops!).

Now up to the landing and down to the beach!

...and away we go!

Makeout pictures for the weekend

2009-07-17T17:05:00.029-05:00

As promised, here are some wedding photos that you haven't seen yet. Warning: you might start rolling your eyes just a little bit.

(all photos by Julie Dreelin of Beach Productions)

Happy weekend, everyone! Hope it's full of kisses. ;-)

PS... I've moved! Catch up on my daily adventures at The Freckled Citizen!

So much love from ABCD!

2009-07-17T10:15:00.008-05:00

What a fantastic feeling for a Friday, waking up to so much love over on the ABCD Designs blog!

ABCD: Bride stays true to her vision

I think she is much too kind, of course, but Amy's point about sticking to your inspiration "guns" is well-taken ... I agree with her that wedding blogs can become inspiration overload at a certain point in your planning process. In a way, because our "theme" was so different than what I was seeing on other blogs, it made our planning process easier - nothing out there was something I could quickly scoop up and incorporate into our event, so I could just ooh and aah objectively. Plus, not only was I already over my head with graphic design and printing up until the last minute, but Team DIY was up to their ears in glue with all the fabric pomander-making, can-wrapping, and votive-decorating. Factor in the travel requirements for all projects to arrive at our tough-to-get-to-wedding, and adding another project just wasn't an option!

Lacking detail angst doesn't make me immune from the problem of too much inspiration, though. The one place I can say this "was it enough?" angst has hit me is with photography. We spent a large portion of our budget on photography and love so many of our photos, but I confess that I do get pangs of "should we have hired a second photographer?" or "instead of going with a local photographer, should we have imported someone?" I'm sure every couple ends up with a few photos they wanted but that just never got taken - whether that was verbalized in advance or a shot you only realized how much you wanted after the fact. As we found with so many other aspects of our wedding, the benefits of getting married in a remote place also become drawbacks - doing anything that's not "home-grown" was exorbitantly expensive. I don't mean to discredit our photographer at all - we truly love our photographs - really. And her presence throughout our day was nothing but a good thing - she is one of those truly warm, free-spirited, FUN people. But because I'm drawn to so much photography on other wedding blogs, it has become that nagging little question in my head, just as others might have that voice worry about their dress, or their flowers, or their music, etc.

But in the spirit of just being thrilled that we pulled off our crazy election-themed party - and to not having regrets, because we did the very best we could with the budget we were comfortable with - let's look at more pretty photos in the next post!

And to Amy, who without question was my absolutely favorite part of our wedding planning process, a huge thank you!

PS... I've moved! Catch up on my daily adventures at The Freckled Citizen!

Lisa and Liam

2009-07-16T10:07:00.015-05:00

As many of you remember, my sister Lisa was my Best Woman and was due to give birth to her first child just six days after the wedding. She made it through brilliantly ... rocked her heels, covered her non-maternity bridesmaid dress bunching with a festive sash, and put on a smile! Here's my "Best Of" of the Best Woman:

My nephew Liam was born right on time, exactly on his June 1 due date. He is a sweetheart, as you've already seen... but everyone loves to ooh and aah over baby pictures, so here's some more!

PS... I've moved! Catch up on my daily adventures at The Freckled Citizen!

Hey...that's us!

2009-07-14T13:19:00.003-05:00

Was just exploring my site meter and found a discussion thread about our wedding! Funny.

Check it out here.

Thank You... strategically

2009-07-14T11:37:00.009-05:00

A big chunk of our thank you cards went out in the mail yesterday. I love finally getting these out the door!

We had standard stationery created by ABCD Designs in lieu of formal thank you cards. Here's a closeup of the front of our card (yummy letterpress alert!):

When we decided to go with standard stationery instead of official thank you cards, we thought we were being practical: we could slip a photo inside featuring a "thank you" and continue to use the stationery for general purposes after the thank yous were done. In theory, this was smart. What I didn't anticipate was not getting my photos until nearly two months later, meaning that this stickler for thank you etiquette was stressed to the max about getting my cards in the mail so late. My advice for anyone having custom stationery made is to be 110% sure your photos will be ready quickly if you opt for a thank you photo instead of a thank you note.

Amy also made us a rubber stamp with our campaign logo, which we stamped inside the cards with red ink along with our note.

Included inside is our official thank you photo:

Adding our names and the date was purely strategic. Shortly after the wedding, we received two cards in the mail from folks who I thought knew I wasn't changing my name, but apparently hadn't gotten the message. I decided that the best way to approach this is going to be consistent, gentle reminders. Therefore, both of our full names appear on our thank you image, and both of our names are also on our coordinating return address label. It's not a press release, but I hope that small decisions like these will help convey the message over time.

We're thrilled with our cards and have had a blast including images of guests partying at the reception as an extra token of thanks. I'd love any tips any of you might have on ways you've tactfully approached the name issue - please share!

Now... back to finishing the rest!

PSA: I've moved! Catch up on my daily adventures at The Freckled Citizen!

Inquiring Mind: Diana

2009-07-13T15:30:00.016-05:00

Diana (an Outer Banks bride-to-be!) has beauty on the brain. She asks:

Where did you get your hair and makeup done? The Sanderling?

My hair was indeed done at The Sanderling Spa. I wanted a loose, curly, beachy updo, and Monique gave it to me. Here's how it looked all pristine and pretty, with my hairpiece from Smitten:

And in action:

Unfortunately, it was a really windy day, especially beach-side. (My poor groom is very dissatisfied with his windblown locks in our photos... how about giving him some love?!) By the end of the night my hair really started coming apart, but since the look was so low-key and curly anyway, I don't think anyone really noticed. You can see it getting unkempt here:

My makeup was done by All Eyes on the Bride (and yes, my sister commented on the irony of someone who didn't want all eyes on her on her wedding day using a business with that name!). Lauren was fabulous. She brought her sister along as her assistant and did the wedding party, moms, and me - and I think we all looked great! Here's Lauren in action:

You remember my search for Nars Cruella, right?

My inspiration was this photo of Drew Barrymore. I was working on a pretty good tan by the time of the wedding, and ended up getting much more sun than anticipated the day before the wedding thanks to our kayaking trip (wearing SPF 50, mind you). So I was a pretty summery-looking May bride. But it turns out, the tanner I am, the more comfortable I feel rocking red lips! The final look:

Coming down the aisle...

And rockin' the red lips during one of my dearest memories from our ceremony - listening to our friends share a reading:

Unrelated side note: I really miss that tan. Here I am celebrating my golden-ness with my Boston gals. (I know, I know, my skin is better off without...) And no judging at our sweaty faces! Late-night it got HOT in that tent!

But back to red lips... want more proof that Team Maggie was awesome? Remember how they organized and found the same killer shoes and all loved them, without me even asking them to wear the same shoes? On the day of the wedding, they all decided to go with red lips, too!

Yay red lips! Yay Team Maggie!

Thanks for your question, Diana, and best of luck!

More questions about our wedding? Comment here or shoot me an e-mail at maggie(dot)eatdrinkmarry (at) gmail (dot) com. Ask away!

Also... I've moved! Catch up on my daily adventures at The Freckled Citizen!

We have photos...!

2009-07-10T11:58:00.006-05:00

Yay! Wave your wedding wands!

I have a huge stack of thank you cards waiting to have photos slipped inside, so as soon as I catch up I can post more here. Happy Friday!

New digs!

2009-07-09T09:03:00.006-05:00

I warned you that I was packing my boxes... allow me to introduce my new blog, The Freckled Citizen!

Never fear, I'll continue doing the full wedding recap over here. I actually think my wedding photos might be arriving in the mail today, at last! Can I handle a new blog and my wedding photos all on the same day? We're about to find out.

Come on over and say hi!

(And yep... wedding colors never die!)

Inquiring Mind: Nicole

2009-07-08T12:45:00.013-05:00

Nicole has fabric on the brain - she wanted more runner and tablecloth details. First up:

Your runner - How did you make it? Did you have anything between the fabric? What did you use as a backing?

My mom's friend Sandy made the runner for us. It was 4.5 feet wide and 40 feet long. The runner was simply cut to size, folded, and ironed. There was no backing underneath the fabric on top of the wooden deck - it was used as is. The afternoon of the wedding, it was simply stapled into place on the aisle along the edges.

By the way, If you'd like to purchase the runner, let me know - Melissa decided to go in a different direction, so we still have the runner, rolled up and ready to go, in pristine condition!

Next, Nicole asks:

Fabric in general: Where did you locate it? Did you end up making your own tablecloths? If so, were they round? And, if they were round, how did you do it?

Finding our wedding fabric was a long and fairly tedious process. My mom and I were regularly hitting fabric stores in NC and TX for months. (A taste of the search process can be found here, looking at my posts tagged "fabric.") For a while there, I had fabric samples in every bag I own, in piles around my apartment, and stacked in the closets. Eventually, I found our fabrics online, which I describe in some of the tagged posts. The online options were more reasonably priced than what we found in stores, and being able to search by yard cost prevented me from falling in love with really expensive fabric, which happened all the time in person. Premier Prints is a great company, by the way, I highly recommend them.

The runner was made from Premier Prints Amsterdam in Snorkel, which was originally purchased as a tablecloth fabric and ended up not being white enough - but was perfect as the runner.

We settled on two tablecloth fabrics: Premier Prints Amsterdam in Lipstick (which unlike the snorkel version, had a bright white background) and Premier Prints Kimono in Snorkel.

I loved the way the fabrics complemented each other without being too matchy-matchy. The punches of color were great fun at the reception and worked really well alongside all the other patterns we had going on in the decor - the DIY'd flower containers on each table, the votive holders, the table signs, and the escort cards.

So how were they made? Not by us! My mom hired one of her coworkers to make them. We knew that the tables were 60-inch rounds, so decided to make the tablecloths 84-inch squares to provide a 12-inch drop all the way around (and as you infer, Nicole, making round tablecloths is quite a bit more complicated than making squares). Each tablecloth was stitched in three pieces, with the pattern lined up precisely. The center piece was the entire width of the fabric, with two smaller strips on each side, which avoided a center seam that would've been noticeable. Our seamstress did a fantastic job - the pattern matched so precisely on each side that the seams were nearly invisible. The tablecloths went over the venue's standard white underlays, which was a way to cut down on costs, since they were free. Here are a few table photos - more and better photos getting here soon, I promise - I believe they are finally in the mail.

More questions about our wedding? Comment here or shoot me an e-mail at maggie(dot)eatdrinkmarry (at) gmail (dot) com. Ask away!

Thanks, Globetrotter!

2009-07-06T14:33:00.006-05:00

Globetrotting Bride profiled our wedding over the holiday. How exciting... and thank you!

Here's what we were busy doing this weekend:

Happy first month in the world to my nephew Liam!

Our red, white, and blue wedding :-)

2009-07-02T09:29:00.024-05:00

In the spirit of the 4th, I thought I'd share some of our favorite red, white, and blue details from the wedding. Since I'm still without our wedding photos, bear with me and pretend these screen-captured thumbnails with a logo will suffice. ;-) (If you need a full-resolution fix, go revisit our full-size sneak peaks here.)

We're flying to North Carolina early tomorrow morning to spend the weekend with friends and family - including my month-old nephew Liam! It'll be our first trip back since the wedding, and let me tell you, I am craving some barbecue (along with good times with my fab family and friends, of course!).

Have a fantastic holiday, everyone! Enjoy!

Loving woodgrain

2009-06-26T17:38:00.006-05:00

My latest etsy score:

Custom woodgrain ring bowl by the brick kiln

I'm loving woodgrain lately. Trevor had woodgrain-styled cufflinks made for the wedding from blockpartypress. They were like the ones here, but in our wedding colors:

I'd love to show you a closeup of the cufflinks... But OOPS! Still no wedding photos!

Don't even get me started.

Yes, I'm extremely annoyed. I'm actually so tired of waiting for them that I'm afraid I won't even feel like showing them off once they finally arrive, which is kind of sad.

But on a more positive note, Nole has been featuring fabulous woodgrain stationery over on Oh So Beautiful Paper lately, so go ooh and aah over there and leave me to my crabbiness. :-)

xo.

Red and blue paper... still

2009-06-25T15:25:00.003-05:00

While perusing birth announcement designs thinking about my new nephew, look what I spotted!

Now I'm not personally in the market for birth announcements (or anywhere close to it), but were I, this red and blue "Joyful Lovebirds" design from Minted would be in my hands in a heartbeat. Love it!

Awww... laughing

2009-06-23T10:30:00.003-05:00

Our friend Chandra just sent us some fantastic photos she took of the wedding. This one made me grin like crazy:

I am so thoroughly amused in the middle of my own wedding ceremony, and I kind of love that. Of course, that also means that nearly every ceremony photo features my mouth as wide open as possible and my eyes all squinty-small, but hey... comes with the territory, I suppose.

Inquiring Mind: Dana

2009-06-23T10:11:00.003-05:00

Dana asks...

I'd like to do sunscreen in my welcome bags as well. Did you buy it in bulk somewhere? If so, where?

As a reminder, here are our Welcome Bags and a closeup of the sunscreen and bug spray...

The sunscreen came from the unfortunately named company Mexitan, and I photographed it here. Bulk sunscreen is actually fairly expensive, and this was the best deal I could find. I purchased two half-gallon containers and was able to fill up 70 2-oz bottles and have some to spare.

Dana, you can buy your very own Mexitan (really? do they not realize how terrible that sounds?) here.

More questions about our wedding? Comment here or shoot me an e-mail at maggie(dot)eatdrinkmarry (at) gmail (dot) com. Ask away!

Change is a good thing

2009-06-22T13:09:00.009-05:00

While we wait for more wedding photos to ooh and aah at, an announcement of sorts:

I'll be blogging from new digs soon.

That's right... a brand spankin' new blog. Many of you might not be aware, but I spent years before starting this 'lil 'ol wedding blog writing about politics and community organizing/planning issues at m-pyre, with two of my all-time favorite gals. Eat, Drink, Marry has been a great framework to write about more of the personal and playful, but make no mistake - I'm still a newsfiend, still have tirades about daily affairs, and still get nerdy delight from my wonky interests. My new blog (name and site to be unveiled soon!) will be a combination of what I dug into at m-pyre and what's amused me over here for nearly a year - plus lots of reading, cooking, shopping, nerding out, and more.

Soon we'll uncover mysteries such as:

What in the world is in my fridge, anyway?

And, really? A salad of watermelon and onion?

And, what was so absurd in today's paper again? And what book last kept me up until 3 a.m.?

Your standard fare... from gender analysis to pop culture snark, from what's wrong with the Farm Bill to why I can't own too many wrap dresses. The stuff that makes me tick. And obviously: the ongoing adventures of M&T.

Rest assured that we'll continue doing a full wedding recap over here... but the next chapter is coming soon. Stay tuned!

Inquiring Mind: Laurie

2009-06-19T08:46:00.003-05:00

Laurie asks...

I love love love your stickers and wrap-around invitation envelope labels. Where did you get the stickers and labels?

Hi Laurie! I loved our adhesives, too! ;-)

Our campaign stickers were a fun touch to our invitations and Welcome Bag tags. Here they are in action:

Our campaign logo was designed by ABCD Designs. Using Amy's design, I priced out various sticker companies for printing and ended up going with Dr. Don's. The quality was great and the price was very reasonable. I only wish I'd ordered more!

The labels on the pouchette (as seen above) were printed via ABCD as well, using her preferred printer in New York. I loved the clean look of the labels and how they afforded an "inner envelope" feel without seeming stuffy.

Amy also designed and printed our wrap-around labels for our outer envelopes, as seen here:

I loved that the labels felt personal but were more modern than traditional calligraphy. As gorgeous as some calligraphy can be, it didn't really fit us or our invitations, but these wraparound labels were perfect - and a snap to use.

There you have it!

More questions about our wedding? Comment here or shoot me an e-mail at maggie(dot)eatdrinkmarry (at) gmail (dot) com. Ask away!

Gifting each other

2009-06-18T11:19:00.018-05:00

Yesterday, our gifts to the wedding crew. Today, our gifts to each other.

(I wanted to do this post with full-res photos, but it's going to be several more days until I have those goodies in my eager hands. Screen grabs from Pictage it is, then!)

Trevor's gift to me

I had two moments on our wedding day that were not mellow euphoria. One, when I thought I'd lost my corset and would be forced to race to the single department store in the area and purchase something ill-fitting and un-pretty, because going bra-less was not an option for me. Two, when I read Trevor's letter and nearly bawled all over my pretty just-finished makeup.

"Oh my God, I'm going to cry."

"His letter is so beautiful and I just scribbled his card while sitting on the toilet!" So classy.

"Oooh...."

So pretty! They truly are gorgeous diamond studs. I took them off this weekend for the first time since the wedding and my ears are getting angsty. You can see me wearing them on the ferry here.

My gift to Trevor

I'd planned all along on getting Trevor wedding cufflinks to bookend his proposal cufflinks, engraved with "I do!" instead of "Yes!" Problem was, he already owned the perfect cufflinks for his wedding suit, so we decided he'd just wear those. As it turned out, he had so much fun creating custom cufflinks for all his groomsmen that he decided to make some for himself, so he had new cufflinks after all. Either way, it was no longer going to be my gift to him. I thought about a watch, because Trevor is in the market for a new watch, but it seemed wrong for this event. I never wear a watch, and when Trevor and I met, the only thing he did without one was to shower - as in, he would step out of the shower and put it right back on, even to go to sleep. Some of you can imagine my hippie eyerolling at this very Virgo behavior back in the day. So now, I consider the fact that Trevor also no longer wears a watch as a personal victory of sorts - as in, now that he's with me he doesn't care what time it is. :-) But truly, I don't mind that he'll probably wear one again at some point (although not in bed, please!). So celebrating our marriage by getting him the one accessory that he loosened up enough over time to give up? Not happening. Also, let's be frank - can I afford the kind of watch he really wants? No. Moving on!

I decided to take another approach and go all-out fun for his gift - untraditional, something he wanted but didn't really know he wanted, something he wouldn't buy himself, and something I could personalize to make it a true memento. The goal? To make him laugh.

Even though my message inside was of the "Yay! We're getting married!" variety instead of the stunning, gorgeous, heartfelt message that he wrote me... I did love the letterpressed card I found. It's very much us.

From may day studio

Not my best work in that card. Who's the writer again? Hmmm.

Trevor grinning at his gift! It was an iPod.

Here's what it says on the back:

Jokers through and through.

Bonus working-from-home-Thursday track:

Gifting our crew

2009-06-17T08:49:00.026-05:00

So after our rambling speeches at the Welcome Cookout thanking everyone, it was gift time!

We'd already gifted our officiant and dear friend Gene with a room at the Sanderling for the weekend. This probably would've been smoother had the hotel not managed to screw up every single reservation we made, including his, which forced him to switch rooms halfway throughout the weekend. The screwup of our reservation forced our first conversation with anyone else the morning after our wedding to be one involving raised voices and flared tempers, which was awesome, and also to pack up and move into the house a day earlier than planned immediately following the post-wedding brunch. But I'll save the bitterness for another post. So anyway... a nice room for Gene! Who deserved it! Yay!

My mom's good friend Sandy helped her tremendously during all things DIY, and also served as our point-person that day, which was really helpful. Sandy's fantastic, and we gave her local jewelry as a way to say thanks in advance for the help we knew we'd need the next day.

To my cousin Zoe, who played violin for us at our wedding - and is packing for a whirlwind music prodigy camp in Europe as I type! - tickets to West Side Story in October, her favorite production that she's never seen.

We gave our mothers the same gift - a gorgeous pair of Tiffany earrings that really suited both of them.We had a special MVP award to pass out, too. It went to my mom as well, which you might expect if you've been reading about her craftiness over the last few months. I mean, look at those fabric pomanders in action!!!! We gave her a hot stone massage two days after the wedding when guests would be gone, so she could really relax and enjoy it. Hilariously, I called her on Monday to remind her about her massage appointment, since we'd never discussed it, and she had no idea she even had one. I'd attached a note explaining the massage to a mini Bliss Triple Oxygen Mask that I wrapped - and she thought her entire thank you gift was the sample mask! Um, no. I mean, it's a great mask, but not that great...

For my dad, I decided to get him three things that he knows and loves: campaign t-shirts, travel coffee mugs, and white hankies. Each had a twist. I had a shirt and mug made on Zazzle with our campaign logo that rocked. The hankie came from Molly and Mom and had "Father of the Bride" embroidered in white with the date. I knew we'd done well when my NM girls said they wanted a shirt and mug, too. ;-)

The gifting to Trevor's dad kicked off the wedding party introductions, since his father was his Best Man. Trevor did a great job talking about each guy standing up there with him and how they represent a different part of his life: his father Dean - family; my brother Lane - my family; Alex - college (and brother-in-law next year!); and Travis - his Dallas friends. Here are the guys, in a photo I think T hates because of his windy hair, but oh well!:

(More screen grab photos, sorry... I'm beginning to think my CD of professional photos was lost in the mail.)

Remember my Christmas gift post when I described the sterling silver "shirt stiffeners" I put in Trevor's stocking? He liked them so much he had a pair made for each of his groomsmen. They're made by Chris Parry, and each was engraved with their names. We'd already mailed the guys their ties, belts, and pocket squares, but we threw their fun socks into the gift bags, too. Finally, Trevor had cufflinks made for each groomsman, and had a blast doing so. Each was from a different etsy seller in mostly red and represented each person individually. Dean received dominoes, Lane Dogfish Ale bottle caps, Alex old-school Nintendo hockey figures, and Travis, a sickle and hammer (inside joke). Here they are, minus my brother, who was late for the "candid getting ready" portion of the afternoon:

Next up, the ladies!!! As I was speaking about my bridesmaids, I inarticulately tried to present a theme of family, calling on the bounty of fantastic girlfriends I'm blessed to have in my life, but who weren't part of the wedding party, first. Our small wedding party really did give it a family structure: my sister Lisa as Best Woman (and about to pop with my first newphew!), Trevor's sisters Morgan and Avery, and my best friend Heather, who has attended more Thanksgiving dinners with my family than I have over the last ten years. Here we are:

I had clutches made for all of us that coordinated with our dresses. You can see my sister holding hers above. They were made my SML Bags, and I had a blast picking out fabric. All of our bags were red silk shantung with a cornflower blue shantung flower on the outside. Mine was lined in the same blue and used a fabric swatch from my wedding dress to cover the buttons. The girls' bags were lined in seersucker and were flat-out adorable. Here's a close-up from SML:

I stuffed the bags full of goodies: their Smitten hairpiece, a pot of sheer red Stila lip gloss, more mini Bliss Triple Oxygen Masks (which all of you should own, by the way), and personalized Sarah+Abraham stationery. Here's Avery with her hairpiece:

That's a wrap!

Next up: our gifts to each other.

The Welcome Cookout

2009-06-16T14:00:00.004-05:00

You'll remember that the Welcome Cookout was the first event that all our guests were invited to on the Weekend Activity Card.

Here's where we invited them to - the back view of the "Hanger House" that also served as our Honeymoon House after the wedding. This lawn was perfect for our needs - and a true rarity among beachfront vacation homes in that area.

The menu was down-home comfort: barbecue, shrimp, clams, crabs, sausage, veggie burgers, coleslaw, green beans, and cornbread. The decor was down-home comfort too: red and white gingham tablecloths, lanterns, and lots of lawn games. Now we just needed people... Come on down!

Playing Horse Balls... or its more sanitized name, Ladderball.

Retrieving lost footballs

My aunt made us the coolest beach quilt as a wedding gift - our names are embroidered on the sailboats! (Trevor's sailboat is plaid, of course.) Does anyone else have super-talented aunts who make them feel lacking of any useful skill whatsoever by comparison? Hmmmm....

The quilt hanging in all its glory

My brother cooking up some yumminess...

...and spreading it out so folks could dig in

My sister-in-law Avery is marrying a college teammate of Trevor's (got that?) and he is known for his famous cakes and fondant skills. Do you know any other professional hockey players who are pastry chefs on the side? Yeah, I thought not. Alex proposed to Avery with a ring inside of a cake made to look like a Tiffany box. It opened as cleanly as a real box to present the ring. Alex has also made hamburger cakes, Guinness cakes, turkey cakes, pretty much anything that you think would be funny as a cake, he can make. Here are the cakes he made us for the Welcome Cookout, which look exactly like yummy summer pies. And sorry.... like Trevor, Alex is taken!

My brother kept chastising me that I was too busy meeting and greeting to eat (which was kind of true... while more people from my side attended the wedding, I had only met about half of Trevor's side before, so that night I had *lots* of folks to meet. I'm so glad I got to do that here and not at our wedding, by the way - weddings are crazy enough as it is without having to go through introductions in the middle of it!) Anyway, back to the cookout... Lane was right, so I finally put a plate together and dug in next to my pal Michael, who I always kind of thought of as my surrogate little brother when I lived in New Mexico. Those smart younger brothers!

Here's my dear friend Mikaela (who is a total Wonderwoman) with her husband Eric. See that little face peeking out from Eric's chest? That's Umea, our MVP Guest! She got a shout-out attendance award from me later in the evening...

Trevor's father and Best Man opened up the mike later in the evening. We had some really fantastic toasts - some touching, some hilarious, all right-on and so fitting for the occasion. Unfortunately I don't think I have photos of any of them - or of the two of us up there together. When it was our turn to speak, we thanked everyone who helped us put the weekend together and gave out some special gifts as a way to thank our parents and introduce our wedding party. More to come on those gifts.

Here we are with some of Trevor's college friends - they've been married for eight years already. We joked that at their wedding, digital cameras weren't even invented yet ;-). Mike most definitely received the "Town and Country" attire award for the weekend, by the way. I really wish I could do a photo spread simply of the male attire at Adams-Hanger '09. Outstanding.

A group shot of the high school gang. And hey, recognize the dress?!

Much later in the evening at one of the rental houses, there was a Texas v. Yale v. Maggie's Crew drinking game. Oh yes, it was that kind of weekend... You're looking at Team Texas right here, who I believe was the winner? Someone correct me if I'm wrong...

As you can see, SO MUCH FUN!

Wedding Lead-up

2009-06-16T10:50:00.010-05:00

The lead-up to our wedding was just as we'd envisioned... loads of friends and family, great food and cold beer, a balance of hanging out combined with structured activities, and a general sense of mellow goodness.

Much of Trevor's family was in Duck the entire week leading up to the wedding, which was great fun. Having them there early meant we could kick back and really enjoy their company before the rush of guests arrived (plus get help assembling/eating cookies for the Welcome Bags!). We had fantastic meals over at their big house every night - the same house we took over after the wedding for our honeymoon. A typical scene from a fun dinner over there:

My parents arrived at their rental house (just on the other side of the Sanderling) on Thursday, so that night we brought them over to the festivities at Trevor's family's pad for another great dinner late into the night. By Friday morning, my siblings, their partners, plus our one and only flower girl arrived! Here's my sis - so pregnant and adorable - with our niece and flower girl Taylor petting her future cousin.

I had friends trickle in all day Friday, which was so much fun. By Friday night, my parents' house was FULL. A group from Trevor's house came over and hung out for a while too, meaning the place was slam full (to use a fave down-home expression) with fun. There was an emergency beer run involved. All night, I kept looking around just grinning... my high school pals there, my freshman year roommate there, my grad school troublemakers there, our officiant there, Trevor's sisters there... just the best feeling ever. I think 22 people slept in my parents' house on Friday night, since most folks' rentals didn't start until Saturday morning. A couple of scenes from Friday night, definitely not capturing the full-on rowdy reunion:

Unfortunately for many of us, Saturday's wakeup call was a tad too early. Hello sleepy hangovers! About a dozen folks went to play golf, and nearly 30 of us went kayaking. Being on the water is so relaxing for me that I couldn't have asked for a better activity to recharge my spirits. I have countless hilarious photos of us all loading up into our kayaks, but the one photo I didn't get, to my regret, was the scene I still have so vividly in my head: a brilliant day, sun making the water sparkle, the sound opening up in front of me and littered with yellow and orange kayaks of people I know and love, and hearing them all joke and laugh together. It was fantastic.

Move 'em up, and head 'em out... as my parents always say ;-)

Can my sisters-in-law get any cuter? Doubtful.

I wore the biggest and ugliest sunglasses I could find and applied sunscreen obsessively. And STILL got too much sun on my chest and shoulders!

My aunt wisely decided to let my cousin do all the work.

My pal Dan had a faulty kayak, which provided the comic relief for the morning.

Our star kayaker! Taylor was so relaxed out there that she was asleep by the time my brother pulled in to the dock. What a trooper!

So. Much. Fun.

Coming up next... the Welcome Cookout, the official kickoff for all the guests!

Salty sea air

2009-06-15T15:38:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, Trevor washed his last dirty shirt from the honeymoon, the one that he wore to the beach every day. It still smelled like the salty sea air.

Sigh...

That shirt smelled really, really good.

Things are fine here - we're plugging along and are both busy at work, we're having fun nights out with friends and nights in at home cooking, and one of us is about to debut a fun new project soon, but ....... I miss the ocean. A lot.

So as I continue to ~~be patient~~ wait for our professional photos to arrive so that we can finish the wedding recap, I offer a couple more honeymoon snapshots.

I can't quit you, Outer Banks.

Gifted with memories

2009-06-11T11:33:00.011-05:00

We received the most amazing wedding gift yesterday. Family friends of Trevor - a fantastic duo who credit their 30+-year relationship to how cute Trevor was as a small child (long story) - created a book of their photographs from our wedding. This book - all 100 pages of it - is amazing! It's so great to be able to hold photos of the wedding, too, since we're patiently waiting for our professional copies. I've gone through this thing probably once an hour since we opened it.

The cover:

Pre-ceremony milling around - with the bagpiper and Trevor's cousin Colin, who surprised us by drumming with the bagpiper at the ceremony! - and heading to the gathering spot with some of the guys:

Walking down the aisle with my parents!! We are so well-coordinated, aren't we? ;-)

The lovely ladies:

...and their fab shoes!

Trivia napkins in use

A grinning Mother of the Groom and her handsome bow-tied husband, plus a sneak peek at some of our table flowers (several of you have asked to see flowers, but it's easier to wait for the real photos than showing thumbnails)

Everyone wearing our campaign buttons - and some people getting more creative with their button placement than others! :-)

The back cover. Such happiness!!!

Best. Present. Ever.

Inquiring Mind: Abbie

2009-06-09T22:53:00.004-05:00

First, an Inquiring Mind update: We sold Melissa our aisle runner! I love the idea of our blue patterned runner living on past our wedding to liven up someone else's! Here's another photo (low-res screen shot, sorry... real pics coming soon) of the runner in action, as my niece and flower girl decided to do a little tour during the ceremony.

Best of luck, Melissa -- I'd love a photo of the runner in action at your wedding!

Next up we have Abbie, who asks...

"Any idea who makes Trevor's mom's dress? It would be perfect for my mom!"

Abbie originally saw Ali's fun dress here. Here's another look at just how fun her dress was:

The dress is Suzy Chin for Maggy Boutique and was purchased at Nordstrom. Make it happen, Abbie's mom!

More questions about our wedding? Comment here or shoot me an e-mail at maggie(dot)eatdrinkmarry (at) gmail (dot) com, or use the handy button on the sidebar. Ask away!

The one you never hoped to meet

2009-06-08T21:00:00.007-05:00

So the two of us, as in love as we are? Not romantics in the traditional sense of the word. Remember way back when, we were looking for invitation wording, and half of what we found gave us icky, saccharine, pukey feelings? Yeah... We're not really fairy tale material. When we met each other, finding the person we were going to marry was the last thing on either of our minds. In fact, we might have wrapped this whole thing up a lot sooner had we not fought falling in love as hard as we did for as long as we did.

But some things cannot be helped. And we couldn't help ourselves, and so we finally gave in. But fairy tales still make us roll our eyes.

For us, then, honoring someone controversial and real and hard at our wedding made perfect sense. It's difficult to get less fairy tale than Henry Miller. The irony was too delicious to pass up.

From our ceremony, as read by our rock star officiant Gene... the Henry Miller excerpt that we couldn't resist:

“One can wait a whole lifetime for a moment like this. The woman [or man] whom you never hoped to meet now sits before you, and she talks and looks exactly like the person you dreamed about. But strangest of all is that you never realized before that you had dreamed about her. Your whole past is like a long sleep which would have been forgotten had there been no memory, but remembrance is there in the blood and the blood is like an ocean in which everything is washed away but that which is new and more substantial even than life: REALITY."

- Henry Miller, "Tropic of Capricorn"

F-Word Fridays: Outtakes

2009-06-05T09:38:00.013-05:00

Ah, weddings. Blushing brides, pretty flowers, tearful moms, cute flower girls, charming speeches, open bars, morally flexible bridesmaids....we all know the drill. Adams-Hanger '09 promised, and then Adams-Hanger '09 delivered. Except for the morally flexible bridesmaids part. Which, quite frankly, I'm pretty happy about, considering that my younger sisters comprised half the bridal party.

But the glimpses of our wedding that you've seen in People and Us Weekly only tell half the story. Because you only see what we want you to see, I fear that there's just no way you could know the nitty-gritty details, the accidents, the tragedies, the folly that came along with this event. And since you've all shown such loyalty from the start, I think it's only fair to give you a glimpse of the seedy underbelly of Adams-Hanger '09.

Let's start with my ill-fated venture into men's cologne modeling. I think it was Vanity Fair that referred to this shot as "Recession for Men." Well screw you, Graydon Carter. I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that tragic tie hang up...

Next we have maybe the saddest element of the whole thing... you look at this picture, and you see a ridiculously cute flower girl, being ridiculously cute, and getting some help from the crowd. But if you look at the bottom left corner, you see the problem: clearly, my mother forgot to wear pants. An understandable misstep, given how hectic wedding days can get, but nevertheless regrettable.

Here now, we see another chance I took that failed. OK! zeroed in on my head and asked "Was Trevor late for a casting of Rockstar: A Flock of Seagulls?" Perez was somewhat nicer, captioning with "Hanger....so hot right now." I thought the Mugatu reference was kind of flattering, actually. US Weekly, unfortunately, ran it next to a picture of Kate Gosselin's hair in a "Who Wore it Better?" feature, where I was predictably trounced 74%-26%. Oh sure, put me up against a woman who's husband just cheated on her in front of the entire country...that's really fair. What was the nutjob doing on a North Carolina beach all last week, anyway? Trying to steal our thunder? Whatevs....suck it US Weekly, you just lost both Adams-Hanger '09 subscriptions.

Finally, we have the ultimate fashion faux-pas. A relative, who we'll call Frank, inexplicably wore a BLUE SEERSUCKER SUIT (!!!!) to the wedding. Seriously, to a beach wedding?! Come on! Why not just go the whole way and wear a white lace dress, Frank? Maggie's mom had him killed. True Story. One of the best sunset photos we have is ruined because you can clearly see her pushing Frank's body out of a rowboat into the sound. Then she had every photo of him at the wedding destroyed. Welcome to the family, Trev! I hear there may be one pic of Frank circulating on the interwebs, but it's probably super grainy and looks like something taken from the Cold War era CIA file, or a Loch Ness Monster hoax.

All kidding aside, I can't believe how much fun I had at my own wedding. Like, exponentially more fun than I've ever had at anyone else's. The whole day/weekend/10 days were incredible. Let's just hope my mom wears pants to the next one...

Inquiring Mind: Melissa

2009-06-05T09:34:00.018-05:00

I received a charming note from a reader today, and decided that answering reader questions could become a new feature here (assuming, uh, there are more questions...). Let's offer to the floor to our first EDM Inquiring Mind, Melissa - who knows just how to flatter me!

Hi Maggie!

I LOVE your wedding blog! I know this is random and hopefully not stalker-y...I came upon it when I was searching for ideas for a red, white, and blue themed wedding, as it is along the lines of what we are planning. My fiance and I are getting married this October, and as he is British and has his whole family coming over from London, some of them for their first time to the US, we are trying to do a somewhat British/Royal theme. Our colors are navy blue and mulberry red, and I designed and made my own passport wedding invitations. Also, I cannot believe this, but I tried on that exact dress you wore!! OK, can I just like have your wedding??!

Anyway, can I ask you where you got that fabulous blue damask floor runner? And last thing..those killer red shoes?

Looks like you and your guests had an amazing time, and congratulations to you.. you look beautiful!

Sincerely,
Melissa

Well hello, Melissa! Your wedding sounds FAB - perhaps you should start a wedding blog so we can peek in at it?

First up, our runner. You might remember my never-ending fabric search all winter for our reception tablecloths. Our first big purchase was Premier Prints fabric in the Amsterdam print, in Lipstick and Snorkel. The red print was gorgeous; it's what we went with for half of the tablecloths. Unfortunately in the blue print, the "white" background was actually more ivory - and since we were using these tablecloths over standard white underlays (to avoid a big rental cost), we needed them to be really white. So we regrouped with our blue print and ended up using Premier Prints Kimono in Snorkel (which did look white). So what to do with the Amsterdam fabric, then? We considered returning it - and Premier Prints (a great company with fantastic affordable fabric, by the way - and I now know how rare that is!) acknowledged the white was off in some of the reams, and would give us a full refund. But as it turned out, our floral/design guru fell in love with the print and thought it would work perfectly as a printed runner at a ceremony site - and that against the rustic boards, the fabric would definitely be white enough. My mom's best friend (who also moonlighted as our day-of director) made the runner for us out of the already-purchased fabric, and the design team nailed it down that morning. I loved the way it added excitement to the ceremony site and really personalized it. Here's how it looked in action (one of our pro shots - screen capture only, explaining the logo and small size - we're waiting for the high-res images):

And last but not least, the shoes! My love of shoes has been well-documented here, but good catch, Melissa - you're right that I never described my own shoes in detail. The shoes are Valentino. They're ridiculously sexy. Even if they got stuck in between every board of the ceremony site... I'd originally wanted the lovely feathered Louboutins that are plastered all over this blog design, but they're not in production anymore, and months of scavenging eBay got to be depressing. I'd never seen my Valentinos online before or since, but there I was one day, happily walking through Nordstrom, and there they were. Out of nowhere. I scooped them the next day and never looked back. Another pro shot:

You know how most brides spend their cocktail hour answering guests' questions/fielding their ooh and aahs about their dress? Mine was spent fielding shoe questions and showing off my feet. My shoes needed an agent, that's how much attention they got. True story - as we were waiting for the ceremony to begin, my bridesmaids and I were in a side sitting room goofing off. This woman comes down the stairs and says to me, "Thank God you're here! I was watching you from the window and telling my husband to check you out! I have to tell you! You look amazing! THE RED SHOES! THE RED SHOES! OMG THE RED SHOES! Amazing!"

I could have been wearing a burlap sack, and I really don't think anyone would have noticed, as long as those Valentinos were on my feet.

Thanks, Melissa - and go start that wedding blog!

More questions about our wedding? Bring 'em on! Comment here or shoot me an e-mail at maggie(dot)eatdrinkmarry (at) gmail (dot) com, or use the handy button on the sidebar. Ask away!!!

Our Vows: Tradition with a Twist

2009-06-04T08:51:00.006-05:00

When we first envisioned what kind of ceremony we wanted, we assumed it would be absolutely non-traditional, full of our own spin and humor and reeking of who we are all the way through.

A funny thing happened in the ceremony planning process, though.

As we began to think about what comprises a ceremony, the same lines that we'd once rolled at our eyes at - you know, "to have and to hold," "through sickness and in health," etc. - suddenly seemed to glow with significance. To our absolute shock, we found ourselves suddenly humbled and touched by the notion of repeating lines that millions of couples have repeated before us. So we did just that, but injected our own flavor, too.

Gene: "Maggie and Trevor liked the symbolism of repeating words that so many couples have uttered before them, but they wanted to do so with a twist. Therefore, we’ll hear the traditional marriage vows followed by ones that Maggie and Trevor have written FOR the other person. That’s right: Maggie wrote Trevor’s vows, and Trevor wrote Maggie’s vows."

And so we repeated:

"I, Trevor, choose you Maggie, to be my wife... To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, and in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish always."

"Trevor, do you take Maggie to be your wife, and vow to love, honor, and laugh with her as long as you both shall live?”

Trevor: "I do"

And now my turn....

"I, Maggie, choose you Trevor, to be my husband... To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, and in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish always."

"Maggie, do you take Trevor to be your husband, and vow to love, honor, and laugh with him as long as you both shall live?”

Maggie: "I do"

"Trevor, Maggie has asked you to make the following vows:

To love and support her through the highs and lows of coffee addiction
To provide her with a never-ending supply of strong National Public Radio reception
That there will always be time for beach trips
To never let her get bored, just like you promised the night you met
To try to see yourself the way that she sees you

"Maggie, Trevor has asked you to make the following vows:

To love and support him through the highs and lows of sports fan addiction
To provide him with a never-ending supply of laughter and smiles
That there will always be time for live music
To continue to be full of surprises, just like the night you met
To try to see yourself the way that he sees you

...and then it was time to exchange rings!

Our Welcome Bags

2009-06-03T12:00:00.005-05:00

Our adorable beach bags for each guest:

What was inside:

An Outer Banks Visitor Guide, our awesome custom wedding weekend map (folded like a newspaper), homemade cookies with fun personalized tags, logo'd sunscreen, and logo'd insect repellent

The bags were a big hit, although the assembly and delivery could've been a bit smoother. In hindsight, I would have gotten these all ready to go at once and had someone else deliver them. Although we got it done thanks to family and friends who pitched in, almost a dozen tags were lost that we had to recreate in a panic at the last minute and put together new bags. The missing tags, plus some accommodation changes and delivery snafus, made for some pre-weekend stress that I could've done without. But all in all, they were a hit - and we loved giving goodies that welcomed everyone to the weekend properly.

PSA (what's a little embarrassment among spouses?)

2009-06-03T09:06:00.003-05:00

A good way to tell that you've married the right person is if he brings you crabcakes and a bottle of champagne to the beach ON A TRAY. Just saying.

...swoon...

A ceremony fit to print

2009-06-01T15:32:00.000-05:00

I *adored* our programs. Just adored them. You remembered our inspiration and the resulting ABCD design? Here's how they looked once they were ribbon-bound and ready to go - letterpressed with cornflower blue and red on the outside, bound with red and white printed cotton ribbon, and printed in navy blue inside:

And as a way to explain our ceremony structure, let's take a peek inside, shall we? Setting the tone right away, Edna St. Vincent Millay:

(click for larger images throughout)

Turning the page, a two-page spread laying out who's who:

Next up, our ceremony structure... We had two types of music during the ceremony: a bagpiper and a violinist. The bagpiper led the guys into the ceremony with the classic "Scotland the Brave." For the girls, we switched to my cousin Zoe on violin, who played The Beatles' "All You Need is Love," and as expected, the song made everyone grin (or so I hear... I was hiding out back!). When it was my turn, I had one parent on each arm and we walked in to U2's "All I Want Is You" on violin, which is just beautiful as an instrumental, and gives me an appropriately cheesy heart-swelling wedding sensation. Sigh.... And after The Kiss, we had "Brown-Haired Maiden" on bagpipes, which was fantastic.

Outside of our readings (which I'll explain next), one element we incorporated that I loved was a twist on the typical Blessing of the Marriage. Our officiant Gene (total rockstar pal... everyone at the wedding had a crush on him, also expected....) asked three groups of people in turn if they would bless our marriage. He asked our parents, our siblings, and then all the guests. Our parents' answers were serious and respectful, but still loud enough for everyone to hear. Our siblings made us laugh, because they are awesome and funny, but also because the chorus of great girls behind me gave loud excited yeses, and my poor brother, who forgot to give his blessing during our rehearsal, was stranded as the only sibling standing behind Trevor. So Trevor shifts right to see the girls say yes, and I burst out laughing and shift to my right to see if my brother will in fact say yes at the real deal, which makes him laugh, and we all have giggle fits. Then Gene asks our crowd of friends and family, "as loudly and wildly as possible," if they also bless our marriage. And the crowd did indeed go wild.

Ahh... readings. You all know my thing with words. We decided to isolate our readings on a two-page spread rather than within the ceremony in order to simplify the layout. First, Trevor's mother read "Beyond What," by Alice Walker. She killed it.

Our next reading was our big surprise to most of the guests, one that we'd been super-excited about for months. We chose twelve of our oldest friends - the friends who weren't in our wedding party because it was so small, but have been with us through thick and thin, to share in a group reading. The reading was "Love," by Roy Croft, and the effect was like a scattered chorus throughout the ceremony. Each friend had an assigned stanza, and simply stood where they were seated to read. So we had a crowd in front of us, with various loved ones popping up to read a line or two, and then someone else across the way popping up for more, and then someone else, etc. The result, for me, was magical. I loved having that moment for myself in the middle of the ceremony to see my friends - to watch them read, to see who they were seated with, to see everyone's grins, to really hear them. I've heard that it's rare to see anyone at your own ceremony - you're typically zeroed in on your partner, and that's that. So having all our fantastic friends share that moment made me feel incredibly lucky to have them in my life, and especially to have them with me that day. Twelve friends sharing one poem - pure magic.

The final page was a note from us thanking our families and honoring loved one who have passed away, but it also included something unique to us. Given that we gave everyone Welcome Bags and had a big wedding weekend versus a single event, we decided early on that we wouldn't have official "favors," and instead would give a donation to an organization that meant something to us both. In the end, we decided on two organizations. The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation is an organization close to the heart of Trevor's family, so it was a no-brainer. But as a way to honor the struggles for marriage equality going on for gays and lesbians and to respect their fight to be allowed to do what was so easy for us, we also wanted to make a more pointed, political donation to their cause. Here's the wording we came up with: "We've also made a contribution to Freedom to Marry, because if we can get married - and to each other, no less - then everyone else should be allowed to as well." Enough said.

One surprisingly (for us) modest kiss later, and that was all she wrote :-).

Which details to fawn over first?

2009-06-01T14:45:00.001-05:00

I'll try to hit as many wedding details as I can think of to write about here, but if there's something in particular that any of you are dying to hear about, let me know... I'll try to move it to the front of the line. ;-)

Sneak peaks!!!!

2009-06-01T10:14:00.009-05:00

Okay first, my sister is in labor right this second and I am THRILLED for her, and rather crushed that I'm no longer in NC with the fam, but trying to fly back as quickly as I can to meet my forthcoming nephew.

And second.... my fab photographer Julie Dreelin posted some sneak peeks that I HAD to share!

Bling! And letterpress! A match made in heaven!!!!

Bling PLUS hot red shoes? Yes please!

Our guys looked goooooood....

And we didn't look half-bad, either ;-)
(Isn't T's floppy hair in the beach wind the most adorable thing ever, by the way? Makes me want to marry him all over again.)

Unforeseen consequence of tall, skinny heels - they got stuck in between every single board of our rustic wedding locale. Oops!

And here we are! Getting married! Just a taste of the amount of laughter that went on. Our cheeks hurt we grinned so much during our own ceremony. My mom's too, I think - that's her front and center in blue!

And outside of our reception later that night!!

Happy, happy, happy....

M+T by Marjorie

2009-05-31T16:31:00.009-05:00

My friend Marjorie took some amazing photos at our wedding last weekend. While we anxiously wait for the professional pics, let's take a gander at what Ms. Marjorie captured... I think she could hire herself out, don't you?

our runner

our "altar" covered with flower pomanders and our bagpiper

with T

with my Best Woman's fantastic belly -- and yes, she made it without her water breaking and in fact is still pregnant!
UPDATE: My sis is in labor as of early Monday morning!!!!

Trevor's mom, the two of us, and my sis

the hilarious disorganization involved with attempting a group photo

a private moment in the midst of everyone

my pal Michael - note his political allegiance :-)

Leaving with a smile

2009-05-30T08:24:00.015-05:00

We leave the Outer Banks today, after ten days here that featured 100 of our favorite people, ridiculous reunions and shenanigans, the most fun at a wedding either of us have ever had (which seemed impossible!), an outrageous after-party the featured 4/5 of all our wedding guests, jello shots out of a pregnant woman's purse (hi Tracy!!), and my uncle getting naked, plus a delicious week of exploring my favorite place with my new h-word (ha! we are totally not on board with the official terms yet, btw). My sister still hasn't gone into labor, so we've been taking each day as it comes - a little sightseeing here, a little sunning there, a little dinner here...

So. Much. Relaxation.

I'm guessing there's another week or two until we see professional photos, but never fear - there will be details galore, including a few of the important players :-). Here's a little something to tide you over until then.

First, music as you peruse. Our song (shockingly, not a Dracula song):

The ceremony:

The reception:

The week since...

Taking photos of my slowly rotting bouquet in pretty places:

Reacquainting ourselves with fiction - and in Duck, NC, one drinks Duck Rabbit Ale:

Happily sunning

Taking very windy (our hair does not usually look like this) ferry rides to my all-time favorite spot, Ocracoke Island:

Drinking beer and spending hours watching pelicans fight sea gulls for fish scraps from the dock (this might sound boring, but was incredibly entertaining - and pretty much sums up our level of relaxation):

Watching dolphins swim beside the ferry on our way home:

And camping out in one of the screened-in alcoves of our enormous honeymoon abode during a thunderstorm over the ocean:

That's it for now, folks! We'll leave you with a kiss from me...

...and a Hasselhoff pose (with bonus ring flash) from the ~~f-word~~ ~~h-word~~ love of my life.

Election Day :-)

2009-05-24T07:43:00.008-05:00

Here's my view this morning while I peacefully eat breakfast before the madness begins... a so-brilliant-the-ocean-glares kind of day:

And look what I just spotted getting wheeled over for setup... OUR FLOWER POMANDERS!!

Yesterday was an insane amount of fun... a morning kayaking with 30 of my favorite people, followed by a Welcome Cookout that was homey and raucous and touching and FUN all at once.

Today's all about getting ready with my girls and getting this thing DONE!

Here's what I'll be wearing today, in case you were wondering:

Much more on that later. For now, there's some marrying to do!

The winning napkins!

2009-05-19T16:20:00.003-05:00

As I'm packing up, I just realized we never reported back on our napkin trivia contest. We sorta listened to you. Kinda.

I think they're adorable and can't wait to see them in action. Also, typewriter typeface? Sold.

PS: So it turns out that boxes of wedding paper goods pretty much take up two suitcases, leaving me with not very much room at all for, you know, clothes. Oh well... bikinis and my Valentinos will suffice!

Paper progress

2009-05-19T11:57:00.002-05:00

Here's a little taste of what's been keeping us busy lately. Also known as: How to take advantage of the nice printer at your office!

Cookie tags

Our custom maps made by my friend Sasha! They're tabloid size, 11x17. Side 1 is a regional map with wedding details, and side 2 is a village map with shopping/eating recommendations.

All folded up and ready for our Welcome Bags, per the folding diagram that Sasha sent us!

Escort cards done and campaign buttons attached!

Escort cards bagged by letter!

Table signs all done and packaged with our table assignment diagram.

The final Welcome Bag tags.

Random signs

Paper packed up and ready for the suitcase!

One big project left... Ribbon Binding of the programs. Check back with us tonight as we negotiate PACKING, collecting childhood photos, getting our place ready to leave for ten days, PACKING, cutting pretty gingham ribbons, oh and PACKING.

Not part of the plan

2009-05-19T07:48:00.004-05:00

Hi! Thanks so much for coming to our wedding!

Oh, you like my dress? Why thank you! I love it too.

Oh, the bandage, not the dress? Of course!

It's actually 3M brand, not Johnson & Johnson.

I know, can you believe it? Such a value. And I almost didn't even get to wear one! But luckily just a few days before our wedding, our cat Fanny freaked out when Trevor let out the biggest sneeze I've heard since the ones my dad used to scare the neighbors with in the garage. Thank goodness I was holding her at the time so I could receive a four-inch scratch across my chest!

Yeah, doesn't it really pop with the white dress? I'm so glad we're having a beach wedding so I can really show it off, too. I'm so lucky! Thanks for noticing!

Focus

2009-05-18T12:01:00.002-05:00

With any luck, today will be my last day in the office, giving me all day tomorrow to pack and finish everything that doesn't involve printing. In order to achieve that goal, though, I'll need to finish my Work To Do list and then get all the remaining wedding printing done today, too (3 more Welcome Bag tags, 6 more escort cards, 2 more table signs, 6 more general signs, and 70 double-sided 11x17 maps).

Some of Trevor's family arrived at their rental house yesterday, meaning that people are already in the Outer Banks for our wedding. Wow.

Head down. Another hammock photo to guide me through to the important stuff - relaxing and celebrating! But not quite yet.

Via Snippet & Ink

Screeching and crashing

2009-05-17T12:05:00.003-05:00

SO MUCH to do today -- eeeeeeek!!!!!! But since it can't be all wedding work all the time, we have TV On The Radio tickets tonight. And on that note, some yummy words for Sunday:

I will be your accident if you will be my ambulance

And I will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and cast

And I will be your one more time if you will be my one last chance

- TV on the Radio, from 'Ambulance'

F-Word Fridays: Why Don't We Get Drunk and...

2009-05-15T10:33:00.021-05:00

I'd like to start this week's F-Word Friday by issuing an apology. Back in late March, in a blatant and transparent attempt to diversify and expand wedding blog readership, I wrote a post that touched on vampires, sex, rock 'n roll, more sex, basketball, and still more sex. And it worked.... we quadrupled regular male readership from 3 to 12, and even got a couple of them to comment. And how did I say thank you? With consecutive F-Word Fridays about men wearing skirts, shoes, and...that other topic that I can't really tell you about, cuz it's still a total secret. I don't know what to say other than "Gentlemen, I'm sorry."

So this week, in the second-to-last F-Word Friday, we're making amends. We're giving back. We're talking beer.

Our "rehearsal dinner" Saturday night is a barbeque cookout in the yard of a big beachside house overlooking the ocean. Pulled pork, boiled shrimp, coleslaw, cornbread. Checkered tablecloths. Footballs, frisbees, and volleyballs flying all over the place. With any luck, it will look like something out of a beer commercial. Which means one thing: we actually need beer. But not just any beer. I mean sure, we could probably throw a couple of cheap brand-name domestic kegs at this crowd and still get the desired response, but Maggie and I (but especially Maggie) have a hint of beer snob in us. So I spoke to a friend who happens to work for a brewer in Montreal, laid out the scene for him, and asked for some help.

Visionary that he is, my budding brewmaster buddy came back with a truly inspired idea.... he showed us a list of six microbrews he could personally vouch for, three of which are from Connecticut (my home state), and three from NC, and thought we should pick one from each state to throw even more local fare into the mix. What's more, he found a local liquor store on the Outer Banks willing to order en masse for us. From these suggestions, we chose the Duck Rabbit Amber to represent the Tar Heel state, and an IPA called Sea Hag from New England Brewing in Woodbridge, CT (we passed on the Thomas Hooker IPA in spite of the obvious temptation to supply ourselves with an unending littany of "Hooker at a wedding" jokes). But our friend wasn't done. Knowing as all good brewmen do that a large cadre of rehearsal attendees will steer clear of the fancy microbrew, he even suggested we provide Lone Star to placate the Coors Light crowd, and allow us to run up the tiniest of Texas flags in spite of ourselves. (And before any of you locals say "wait, how can you pick Lone Star over Shiner?!", try to remember that Shiner sucks....too many Texans blindly love Shiner just because it's from Texas. It's the Dallas Cowboys of regional pseudo microbrew. Lone Star may be no better, and might even be worse, but I simply refuse to perpetuate the Shiner myth any longer. Not only that, but Lone Star is an infinitely better beerpong beer than Shiner. And there will be beerpong.)

So we're set to place the orders tomorrow. Cases and cases. Maybe even kegs. Hopefully enough to last for a few late nights and even into the following week, since Maggie and I are sticking around after everyone else heads home. Gotta have something to drink with your toes in the sand.

Mmmm....Beer.

Wedding crushes

2009-05-15T09:51:00.017-05:00

My justification for spending countless hours oohing and aahing at wedding blogs is coming to a close, and as such, it's time for a massive "weddings I have a crush on" post!

First up: I am obsessed with these bridesmaids. There is SO MUCH MORE too, via Rock 'n Roll Bride. You really need to check them all out.

Next, "Nuts for Each Other"?! This is the kind of thing that the F-Word sees and is happy the wedding is finally almost here so I can stop being inspired to add new projects. Via Ritzy Bee.

Here we have fresh gorgeousness punched with orange... and the same standard white wooden chairs our budget is forcing upon us (don't even get me started on chiavari rentals), looking fantastic. Via the Wedding Chicks.

I have a crush on this next bride because she has the kind of fit-yet-curvy bod like I do, and chose a dress that accentuates her curves instead of disguising them. Not only is she proud of her curves, but hellooooo, the glasses? Talk about spiking my nerd meter. Via Style Me Pretty.

Just LOVE the fun necklines on these ladies. Via Grey Likes Weddings.

I'm not wearing a shrug, but these designs make me want to. They are just gorgeous. Made by Rohm, via Something Old, Something New.

Next up, a ridiculously stunning bride and image, which also terrifies me for her a little bit. Via Style Me Pretty.
The bride above happens to be a talented graphic designer. This, folks, is how you design paper goods for your wedding. OMG. Also via SMP.

I've had this bouquet bookmarked for ages, from back when we thought we'd have a coral and peach wedding. I think it's the most stunning bouquet I've ever seen. Really. It's via Fairmount Bride, but I don't have the floral designer information any more.

I've saved the best for last. When I first saw this perfectly patterned wedding over on Green Wedding Shoes, I was on the phone with my mom and interrupted our conversation with a huge intake of breath. I just ADORE it. Every bit of it. I mean, this is pretty much a purple-and-red version of our wedding in our heads, set on a farm instead of the beach. Please join me in a freakout over this scrumptiousness, photographed by Leigh Miller:

Time for a nap

2009-05-14T14:00:00.005-05:00

You know I need a nap when I start catching stuff like this while printing my table signs.

I'm losing my edge. I used to be the fiercest copy-editor around, spotting things like an extra space between words from across the room, with one eye shut. Now I allow "ledd" to make it to the printer? Sad.

Time for a few more prints, then I'm sneaking home to take a nap. It is girls' night, after all.

The final countdown

2009-05-14T11:48:00.005-05:00

It occurs to me that I shouldn't be running on empty leading up to the wedding, but that's just how it's been lately with my work schedule. I drank more coffee yesterday than I have in years. Late last night, I pulled the tried-and-true "maybe I'll just go to sleep and wake up early to finish this project" move that saw me through twenty years of schooling. Bad habits never die - especially for procrastinators. But as of an hour ago, my deadline is history. Slam dunk. And fortunately for my career, I've been able to hide the fact that I've been wearing clothes straight from the dirty clothes hamper (ewwwwww, i know!) for two days of meetings at a local agency in order to slam dunk said deadline. Seriously, wearing dirty clothes? That's how scatterbrained I've been. Workworkwork in the office, and at home? No laundry or doing anything practical whatsoever, but instead working out twice in one day, redoing all of our table assignments AGAIN, wondering if I should write a brief history of the Outer Banks for the Welcome Bags, and folding soooo much paper. You know, priorities and all... :-)

Here's the thing. I don't care if I'm crazy-busy now, because this is how all these odds and ends get done. But when we arrive in the Outer Banks on Wednesday night, I don't want to do one detail-oriented thing except for assemble/deliver the Welcome Bags and get our marriage license. That's it. Just laugh and celebrate and smile and enjoy it.

So now that my deadline's done (yay!!!), it's the final countdown toward a certain trip we are taking on Wednesday. We had some RSVPs change from No's to Yes's this week, so actually had to do quite a bit of rearranging and redoing, which is why this list doesn't look smaller. But oh well. It's just wasted card stock and brain cells. ;-) I have one small work assignment to tend to over the next few days, but basically plan to spend most of my office hours blatantly stealing printer ink. Here's how we're doing since the last list:

To Do:

Rent/borrow tables for Welcome Cookout - my aunt is researching this for us
Finish ceremony plans with Gene
Write vows
Fam to pick up wedding dress in NC
Saturday - Bliss Spa!!
DJ guidelines/play/do not play - mostly done - I think we still need to give him more info, though
Ribbon-bind the programs
Finish making escort cards - 3/4 there
Finish table signs and print
Buy frame/mat/pens for "guestbook"
Talk through ceremony music arrangements with our violinist (my adorable music prodigy cousin!)
Help Sasha finish custom map - print
Make Bride and Groom signs for chairs
Make Cards sign
Print new Welcome Bag tags
Rest of Welcome Bag - other printed odds and ends/candy?/water?/other?
Print photos for display
Cookout timeline
Pack

Done since last list:

Reception timeline
Groomsmen sock decision
Cookie bag tags printed, cut, folded
Nail down pricing details of kayaking/golfing - finish planning
Finish and submit official venue checklist
Table assignments and space-planning chart completed
Mom dropped off DIY goods in OBX
Pick up engraved perfume bottle
Finish flower cans (DIY HQ)
Girls' hairpieces - done and done
Napkins - cocktail and reception
Print and assemble programs
Schedule wedding rehearsal

Our big happy crew

2009-05-13T20:20:00.006-05:00

We've long been obsessed with the idea of a huge group photo immediately following the ceremony. Here's a snippet from our program:

And to refresh, here are our wedding wands:

And finally, some inspiration:

Source: Style Me Pretty

Source: Michele M. Waite

Adorning the 'maids

2009-05-13T14:30:00.003-05:00

Please join me in gleeful exclamations of cuteness over the bridesmaid hairpieces:

(Not super-apparent here, but those white petals actually have light blue polka dots!)

By Smitten.

Worker bees

2009-05-12T14:55:00.003-05:00

We are busy. And not very entertaining right now. So between trips to Kinko's, endless hours in Photoshop, lots of table rearranging, and last-minute accommodation crises among guests, I think we're just plugging away and keeping our heads down. But here's what I'm ready for:

Via Sparkliatti

A week from today is our last day in Dallas. Bring on the hammocks and the ocean breezes...

No veil, thanks

2009-05-11T12:06:00.005-05:00

Check out my fun hairpiece for the wedding, made by Smitten!

I wanted a big white flower with a touch of red, a few feathers, a small amount of netting, and all organic materials (ie no rhinestones etc.). I think she got it just right, don't you?

Coming soon... the ridiculously fun pieces for my gals.

Smelling yummy

2009-05-09T16:40:00.004-05:00

First up, French Lilacs from the market. They're everywhere right now, and smell amazing!

Next up, ME! Remember waaaaay back, when I decided that Marc Jacobs would be my wedding perfume? I've resisted buying it for months because I didn't want to use it until the wedding weekend. (How else would I create a wedding memory association with the scent?) Since I can't resist temptation, I knew I shouldn't buy it until now. I was smelling it at Nordstrom a few months ago and they told me if I planned to make the purchase around Mother's Day, I could get the bottle engraved for free. Yes please!

I picked it up this afternoon and love it.

Waiting to buy it during a holiday had another advantage. Look at all these goodies I got for the same price as a single bottle when Nordstrom isn't having a fragrance event! Score.

Someone's about to smell gooood.

F-Word Fridays: Oh, Like You've Never Done It...

2009-05-08T11:40:00.014-05:00

O. M. G. there's something I have to tell you, but you CANNOT tell anyone!! No, I'm serious, this is really a real secret. Because it's embarrassing! This is bad, even for me....I totally can't believe I did it. Actually never mind, I can't tell you. Nope. Because! Because. Because I'm ashamed, ok? I was only gonna tell you because I got busted for it this morning, and that jackass Kevin in accounting probably already put it on his Facebook status. What? No it's not ok if you friend him. Jesus. OKOKFINE, fine whatever, I'll tell you. Wait no, no I can't. Because! O-KAY! Fine, whatever, god. But you have to come closer....I can't even bring myself to say this above a whisper.

I went to a tanning salon last night.

I know! I know....I told you it was ridiculous. Um, because I had no choice, obvs. Have you been outside lately? Lemme answer that one for you....um, no, you haven't, because it's rained for like two straight months here. No! I'm only going to go a few times, it's not like I want to look like a Mavs Dancer. I just need a base, cuz you know i burn sooooo easily, and it's pretty freakin' tacky to get married with a sunburn, especially at a beach wedding. Besides, seersucker kind of washes people out sometimes, and obviously I'm a little bit porcelain anyway, and with a tan my eyes will totally pop. The salon? Yeah, it was pretty clean, I guess. I mean it didn't smell like body spray or anything...I definitely got dummer listening to the two girls behind the counter, though. They were tragic. Who, Kevin? Oh, he totally busted me when I was stretching and he saw how pink the underside of my arms were. Yeah it was pretty bad. Whatever, it'll totally fade into a nice bronze by the weekend.

Bling blunder

2009-05-08T10:53:00.004-05:00

Embarrassing admission: The F-Word and I like to "try on" our wedding rings from time to time. We might have even gone out wearing them together already. Just to, you know, get used to them and all.

I do love the ring. I requested a wedding ring that embodied my favorite thing about my engagement ring - its delicate, so-thin-you-can't-believe-it band. It almost disappears into my skin as a simple band, which might sound strange, but I really love that about it. I'm always a fan of subtlety. (Recent tank blunder notwithstanding.) The subtlety of the delicate band, though, has a price - even under normal circumstances, it's a tad more difficult to take off than my engagement ring. There's just not much to hold onto.

So about last night: Say that you're in the water retainment portion of the month. And the weather happens to be really hot and humid. And you go out for a fantastic dinner with friends and have many, many cocktails. And then you come home and put the ring on (he did it too! don't just make fun of me!), and accidentally ~~pass out~~fall asleep wearing it.

That might cause this to happen.

I seriously can't get the thing off today. Oops.

I am SO busted.

Day-of schedule

2009-05-07T13:55:00.007-05:00

I really like lists. I am nearly always carrying at least one around with me. I hardly ever go food-shopping without a detailed list separated by store department. Without it, I'd forget half of what I was there for. I also really like packing lists, which allow me to think about vacation clothes without any of the labor involved in taking them off the hangers and putting them into a suitcase. So obviously, I've made quite a few wedding-related lists the last several months. The current one is really small and manageable, though, and fits right into my wallet. It's getting smaller, too. YAY.

Schedules, on the other hand? While I appreciate the structure of schedules, I'm not at all Type A about sticking to them. I think of them more as overarching guidelines. When I taught an undergrad class, I played fast and loose with the syllabus, letting the class run as organically as possible, seeing where the students themselves took us. When I facilitated public meetings, it was the same thing; allowing the process to define the product always rewarded the group in the end. All that said, I've been avoiding making day-of wedding schedules for some time. Maybe I felt like the schedules would pin me down too much, lock me into a timeline I wasn't fully comfortable with, I'm not sure. Whatever the original cause, it's actually a relief at this point to finally get a preliminary schedule down on paper. Here's how it's looking now - not at all nailed down, just where I think we're headed with it. Thoughts and feedback on our reception timeline in particular would be fantastic!

10:30 - 3:30: Girls getting pampered and dressed, lunch and cocktails etc. (I have a separate schedule with seven women's nail/hair/makeup appointments staggered in 15-minute increments - really exciting details I am sparing everyone)

2:30 - 3:30: Guys getting ready

3:30: Our "first glimpse" photos

4:00: Bridesmaid photos/Groomsmen photos/Immediate family photos

4:30 - 5:00: Ceremony and group photo*

5:00 - 6:00: Cocktails and hor d'oeuvres at reception/Bridal party finishes photos (No announcement for us when we get there - we just want to ease in. Plus, if the DJ screws up and calls me the wrong name I'm going to kill someone, so this helps prevent that!)

6:00 - 6:30: Welcome Toast from my parents, Dinner begins

6:30 - 7:00: Dinner continues. Best Man/Best Woman speeches, followed by Toast from the two of us.

7:00: Dessert served, First Dance

7:15-ish: Father/daughter and Mother/son dance (same time), after which the dance floor opens

7:30 - 8:00: We need to sneak out at some point to get sunset photos on the sound*

10:00: Reception ends. After-Party is across the street.

* During our first attempt at this, we realized we'd scheduled the First Dance and Toast at the exact window that our photographer needs us to sneak out and capture our sunset photos. Oops. So since we can't change the time of the sunset, we're now going to try to actually begin our ceremony on time. EEK!

Time to re-Zazzle

2009-05-06T15:40:00.004-05:00

I fear that my Zazzle design - intended to wear while getting pampered on the big day - didn't account for uh, boob stretchage.

Back to the drawing board, then. With the selection of a non-ribbed tank, for starters. Unless I can pretend we've had an oval logo all along?

Joining forces

2009-05-06T13:31:00.007-05:00

As obnoxiously independent as the two of us are, it's hilarious to me that as of today we (or our cell phones, anyway) have joined forces for a "family share plan."

We don't really care if Verizon knows we're cohabitating/engaged/married or not. Just that we maximize my 17% corporate discount.

Funny sidenote/lame joke moment: when we were figuring out which plan to select, the woman I was speaking with told me that we both use, on average, 150 minutes each month. Enter me: "Now that's compatibility!"

Apparently this morning's smoked salmon gave me a really bad sense of humor.

But still... I wonder if health insurance will be this easy. Doubtful.

A girl can dream

2009-05-05T19:01:00.002-05:00

If our wedding ends like this one, I will be a happy, happy girl.

Via WeddingbeePro

Also featured? Seriously rockin' feet, a stylin' wedding party, ridiculous succulent/pom bouquets, and the greatest, mellowest vibe.

Happy Birthday sis!

2009-05-05T11:14:00.005-05:00

My super-preggo sister and ~~Matron of Honor~~Best Woman is having a birthday today!

Looking adorable at her baby shower

While you toast Lisa tonight during your Cinco de Mayo festivities, here are some fun facts to consider:

Lisa rescues injured wildlife through her participation with the NC Wildlife Center, which sometimes means she and her husband are housing a dozen baby bunnies along with their slew of pets (two dogs, two cats, and a rabbit). This makes for neat animals to check out while visiting their house, fun field trips with Lisa through weird peoples' yards to find the injured animal they supposedly saw, and having disabled animals that need to be handfed medicine vacation with us at the beach. And of course, before you can leave Lisa a voice mail, you're forced to sit through detailed instructions on things like how to isolate an injured animal. So I just hang up instead. But yay for the animals!
Lisa is super-crafty and has made and sold, at various times, jewelry, dog beds, dog collars, and more. Thank goodness she's on Team DIY!
Several years ago, Lisa saw a tv show on genetics that stated it was impossible for two blue-eyed parents to have a child with brown eyes. Naturally, since she looks exactly like everyone else in my family, but has brown eyes whereas my parents are blue-eyed, Lisa believed that one or both of our parents were not legit. But nope, she's a scientific miracle instead!
She and her husband owned a sports bar and grill up until about six months ago, at which point they sold it to focus solely on their real estate business. This is great news for the two of them, but less great news for the rest of us who longer have a cool "family bar" to hang out at. Sigh...
Even though Lisa's three years younger than me, she's been married for five years, and the other day told me that she can't wait for May 24 so that I can finally be "old and married" like she is.
Lisa is my Best Woman because I don't have to explain things to her, she just gets it, and that is very calming for me. She also rocks in unexpected ways, like when she secretly photographed T asking my parents' permission to marry me, so that I now have framed photos of the moment. Plus, no one can make me laugh like this girl, and that's a big deal. Exhibit A:
Lisa's due date to bring my future nephew Liam into the world is June 1, six days after the wedding. Most of the family thinks she's not going to last that long. EEK! Her bridesmaid dress has reached the point of needing a seamstress intervention. Will she last? Will Liam wait? Only time will tell! (In the "Will Lisa's Water Break During the Ceremony?" poll on our wedding website, "No" is winning with 58% of the vote.)

One of my all-time favorite photos: Lisa and my dad walking down the aisle at her wedding. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIS!

Celeb crush

2009-05-04T14:20:00.006-05:00

The F-Word and I have long held a huge couple crush on Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard. They just ooze effortless cool. Strolling around Brooklyn with their adorable daughter Ramona, always doing interesting, thought-provoking work, caring more about their craft and being smart than about celeb culture, rocking their double-a names... I could go on.

So the news that they got married in Italy over the weekend prompted an immediate IM exchange this morning between the two of us. We'd love to know the details. What did they wear? What incredibly smart readings did they have? What impossibly clever vows did they make? Again, I could go on.

Our consensus, though? Maggie and Peter are so cool that we'll probably never find out a thing about their wedding. As it should be, of course.

But still.

Making cookies even more of a good thing?

2009-05-04T13:55:00.008-05:00

My Aunt Lynne is making cookies for our Welcome Bags. Although she makes these little lemon cookies that are about my favorite things on the planet, her oatmeal raisin cookies are not far behind... and more of a crowd-pleaser. So oatmeal raisin and tried-and-true chocolate chip cookies it is.

I already ordered small cellophane bags to package the cookies, and figured I'd fold the top over and affix them with a sticker of some kind. But thanks to iDIY today (loooove this blog), I was inspired by a template offered over at Creature Comforts.

Here's the Creature Comforts version:

And here's what I came up with while waiting for a work conference call to begin (the top half folds over):

We'll have to do a test run asap and make sure the stapled cardstock doesn't rip the cellophane with the weight of the cookies inside. Here's hoping! Also, I admit to not letting go (as promised) of the fact that my Welcome Bag tags aren't cuter... these little tags are totally kicking the other tags' butt in the cute department.

Down to the nitty-gritty

2009-05-04T09:54:00.005-05:00

Sunday marked three weeks until the wedding. Fortunately, our To Do List is getting smaller, and the tasks are getting smaller, too. So small that I'm not even reprinting our entire list any more! Here's where we stand from last week:

To Do:

Rent/borrow tables for Welcome Cookout - discussing tables tonight
Finish ceremony plans with Gene
Write vows
DJ guidelines/play/do not play - due tomorrow
Reception timeline
Print/assemble programs - buy ribbon for programs
Napkins - cocktail and reception
Finish making escort cards - about halfway there
Girls' hairpieces - will be finished this week
Table assignments - almost there, waiting on one more RSVP
Finish table signs
Finish flower cans (DIY HQ)
"Guestbook" - sign shipped, will discuss matting when it arrives
Talk through ceremony music arrangements with our violinist (my adorable music prodigy cousin!) - scheduled for tonight
Pick up perfume - will explain soon!
Help Sasha finish custom map - print - ship to NC
Make Bride and Groom signs for chairs
Make Cards sign
Rest of Welcome Bag - other printed odds and ends/candy?/water?/other?
Groomsmen sock decision
Print and mail childhood photos for board
Mom to drop off DIY goods in OBX
Finish and submit official venue checklist
Make cookie bag stickers
Nail down pricing details of kayaking/golfing
Pack (whoa)

Done:

Welcome Bag tags
Plane tickets
Final dress fitting - ship dress to NC
Buy cosmetic odds & ends
Finish Hooray sticks (DIY HQ)
Finish votives (DIY HQ)
Welcome Cookout decor
Ask friends to take part in group reading
Program interior (thanks ABCD!)
Shipped Welcome Bag product to NC
All wedding party/family gifts
Ordered cellophane cookie bags

The big 'ol list before I chopped it down to the final details can be seen here.

An accomplished flirt

2009-05-03T21:42:00.001-05:00

In the search for ceremony and program quotes, we've come across several we love but that aren't right for this purpose. Here's one of them:

There would have been the making of an accomplished flirt in me, because my lucidity shows me each move of the game - but that, in the same instant, a reaction of contempt makes me sweep all the counters off the board and cry out: - "Take them all - I don't want to win - I want to lose everything to you!"

- Edith Wharton to W. Morton Fullerton, June 8, 1908

F-Word Friday: It's Gotta Be the Shoes!!!*

2009-05-01T10:13:00.022-05:00

Michael Jordan wore a new pair of Air Jordan sneakers every time he played a game as a pro. When a reporter asked him why (assuming it was a way to get more "game-worn" shoes out on the market to auction for charities or give to the underprivileged), Jordan said the philanthropy was a nice by-product, but that the real reason was more selfish. He said the universal truth was that everyone feels special when they're wearing new shoes, and he wanted that feeling every time he stepped on the court. And he's right.

Maggie, as has been well-documented, has a new pair of dangerously sexy red Valentinos for the wedding. They're outrageously, unfairly hot. On a scale of 1-10, they're at least a 14. And the bridesmaids, even the super-preggo Best Woman, are wearing fun new shoes too. I, admittedly, fretted over which shoes I'd wear. The choices are limited when wearing a seersucker suit, and I thought I wanted a pair of shoes that didn't feel out of the ordinary for me (I wanted to be comfortable wearing them, not just having them on, if that makes sense). But eventually I caved, and we found a pair of white bucks with navy saddles, which are really comfortable and very cool (thanks in no small part to the seersucker lining in the shoe).

But the groomsmen, well, they were on their own. With a new suit, shirt, tie, belt, and pocket square already in place, we decided early on that basic brown shoes would suffice. What's more, knowing that they all owned brown shoes of varying styles, and that no one cares what shoes the groomsmen wear anyway, we just gave them general guidelines to help pick from their own shoe collection. Never mind that two of them probably only own one pair of brown dress shoes anyway.

So that was that. Until Wednesday, when my father, the Best Man/King of the High-End Outlet Mall/World's Most Interesting Man, rescued the groomsmen from the woefully shallow depths of their own closets. He managed to find above average off-white bucks on sale for next to nothing, and called immediately for permission to buy new shoes for himself and his fellow groomsmen. I was, shall we say, skeptical, but that night he sent me a phone pic of himself in full groomsman attire (complete with a large-brimmed hat that made him look like a stunt double for Elliot Ness), and damned if he didn't look even more like The World's Most Interesting Man than he already did! So now, even the groomsmen get new kicks for the big day.

What can I say? Our wedding party clearly understands the importance of rockin' footwear.

* Back in the late '80's, Nike launched a series of ads with Michael Jordan and Spike Lee. Jordan played himself, and Lee played his own alter-ego, Mars Blackmon, taken from his character in 1986's She's Gotta Have It. The commercials quickly entered the pop-culture lexicon, mostly for Spike Lee delivering now-classic lines (like the one in the title of the post). Jordan was certainly the best pitch-man of his day and maybe of all time, and this ad started it all, igniting the Air Jordan sneaker craze in the late 80's that got so out of hand people were actually killed for their sneakers. Jordan made more iconic commercials, like this one for Gatorade in 1992 (maybe my favorite commercial ever), but it was the shoes that put him on the map as a spokesman.

I finally love my dress

2009-05-01T09:52:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was my final dress fitting, and I really think it was the first time in my long, painful dress-shopping process that I actually fell completely in love with my dress.

Better late than never, right?

I don't know if my late-bloomer love is because the wedding's almost here and now I can envision how well all the pieces are falling into place, or if people finally being nice to me matters, or if I'm just weird, but I'm so happy that I finally love it, because I think it will show at the wedding.

I love how ME this dress is. Every element of the dress is reflected in the clothes I normally wear. So I look like myself in it, just dressed up a notch. Which means I'm exceedingly at ease in it.

I love how well the dress fits me. All the little spots that I was concerned about, I've worked hard enough to make them non-issues. And honestly, as much as it pained me to pay so much money for alterations, I now understand how well-spent that money really was. She's made the tiniest of adjustments in places that seemed to me to fit just fine. Only now, they really fit, and I can see what a difference it makes.

I love the way the dress fits our wedding. When I'm wearing the dress and someone asks me about the wedding, as soon as I say "beach," they begin to nod. To me, this dress perfectly embodies the feel and setting of our wedding. It's a seaside affair, but kinda vintage chic, too.

I love how the dress looks with beachy skin. I've been fair-skinned every time I've put it on, but now, with a little more color, the dress just pops. Also, I love how red lips look with tanned skin. The shock of the lipstick I've been trying to get over? That's because in the winter I'm a modern Snow White. Which I actually enjoy, in the winter. But now, with a more bronzed glow, the red is fantastic. Not too much at all. Just really festive and fun.

I love that you can see my red shoes when I walk. They make me so happy. Yesterday they made two strangers smile, too. I just cannot say enough about my red shoes. Best wedding accessory decision I've made, hands down.

I love how comfortable the dress is. It's so light and simple, I could sleep in it. I'd decided that for our After-Party I'd change into a white strapless sundress my sister wore to her rehearsal dinner five years ago along with my fantastic seersucker pumps, in order to match my groom. But to be honest, I'm really not sure I'm going to want to take this thing off. EVER.

So the big reveal, then? I'll schedule some posts to go up the weekend of the wedding and the following week. Because you know I can't let the f-word in on the surprise. Until then, there's always Not My Dress to help narrow it down...

Finally loving my wedding dress feels a little bit like victory, I must say. Safe travels to North Carolina, loved one!

Report from DIY Headquarters

2009-04-30T12:35:00.005-05:00

Over at DIY Headquarters, Team Fam is nearing completion of all DIY projects and getting ready to deliver them to our Outer Banks holding station!

Under the leadership of 'Lil Sue (otherwise known as Mom), the hands of Big D (Dad), Best Woman with Unborn Child (sis), grandparents, neighbors, cousins, and more have been worked to the bone to turn our fun decor ideas into reality.

Here's what the tally board looks like back at the homestead:

First up, the fabric pomanders that will be mixed in with actual flower pomanders for the "altar" decor. I begged my mom to do a step-by-step post with photos, but I begged too late. Know this: each one takes up to 9 hours to create. We have 18 of them. Wow!

I'm going to try to explain our reception decor as best as I can. We ended up going with two types of fabric for tablecloths after all: Blue and Red (bottom right).

On each table, there will be a pedestal (different types on each table) that will hold a single flower pomander from the ceremony (our florist is staying to trek them over to the reception for us, because she's awesome like that).
Surrounding each pedestal will be paper-covered cans of varying sizes and shapes that will each hold an arrangement of one type of flower. For example, one can will hold all red tulips, one will hold all blue hydrangeas, one will hold all white ranunculus... you get the idea. To make the cans, my sister and I created sheets of paper using design elements from our invitation suite as well as additional graphics. They're covered in varying designs and are a range of colors and scales. There are 140 total cans. (Well okay, almost 140... they're in the 11th hour of production -- and hint, hint, we would love a photo when they're done!)
Sprinkled amongst the paper-covered cans, we have white rice paper votives with small graphics applied to them. These are much simpler, keeping the white really visible to ground all the pattern a bit.

Here's how it comes together:

You have to imagine flowers in the cans!

The streamer things in the middle are creations that I don't have a name for yet. Our floral designer calls them "wish sticks" and my mom calls them "happy sticks." Basically, they are sticks with ribbons attached on the end. They'll be displayed on the back of each chair to give the ceremony site a punch of color without having to pay for chair ties. Photographed jumbled together, the streamers look a bit 4th of July, but they will be separated at the wedding. The sticks do not have both red and blue combined, never fear - one is all blue and white, and the next is all red and white. (An example of little decisions we've made to help downplay the patriotic look - in addition to lots of light blue.) The sticks will be waved in the air three times: After we're married and are walking back down the aisle, during our large group photo immediately following the ceremony, and later that night while we're exiting. I've been wavering between attaching a little tag to the sticks explaining this or explaining their use in the program - thoughts?

Votives lit up and pretty.

Yes, my mom really did line the front steps with the completed votives - all 165 of them. Hilarious and awesome!

A closer view... although I spotted a heart in there and have already given instructions that it must be eliminated! I'm so cold and heartless, you know.

One project unrelated to the tables: a card holder. I was thinking a random receptacle in my parents' attic would be great to hold cards in a cute way, rather than have them scattered on the table. My mom ran with the idea and found an antique birdcage for cheap on eBay. Lots of scrubbing and a fresh coat of paint later, and look what we have:

Adorable! It has a stand we can use, or we can place it on a table like this. At the reception it'll have a few flowers on it and also have a cute "Cards" sign attached.

That's all for now... whew! I'm exhausted! So (as you can see) is Team Fam!

Beware leaking UPS boxes...

2009-04-30T10:00:00.000-05:00

A huge box of these little guys made their way onto a brown truck this morning, labels affixed. Please, please don't start leaking, little ones!

I realized I haven't shown off our Welcome Bags yet, by the way. My mom found these reusable shopping bags that are adorable and can easily double as beach bags for the weekend.

Each one will have a little tag with our campaign sticker on one side and their names with a note from us on the other. Inside, they'll find:

Custom map
Official Visitors' Guide to the Outer Banks
A print-out of the activity links from the wedding website
Directions to golf and kayaking, if they're doing either of those
Water
Homemade cookies (thanks, Aunt Lynne!)
Candy
Sunscreen
Insect Repellent

And maybe....

Flashlight (the walk back from the cookout will be dark - we'll have some flashlights there, but if I can find them cheap enough I'll put one in everyone's bag)
A salty snack

Our escort cards

2009-04-29T20:38:00.004-05:00

I'm bursting with the cuteness of these little guys. You remember our themed tables? Here's the first glimpse at our escort card display... with our tiny adorable campaign buttons attached to each one!

We had the buttons made by the Busy Beaver Button Company - a great value, by the way. And the rest came together using design elements from our invitations. Getting excited!!!

Coming up tomorrow: a DIY spectacular straight from DIY HQ in North Carolina.

Our Programs

2009-04-29T08:53:00.008-05:00

It's been far too long without any ABCD goodness on this blog... please allow me to correct that!

Because we all know how much I love paper, I knew from the beginning that I wanted special programs. I found my inspiration via Martha. Take a look (if you can avert your eyes from the groom in seersucker, of course): Landscaped design, ribbon binding, small enough to slip into a suit jacket pocket or a clutch. Adorable!

Amy cooked up a few fun designs for us. Here's the one we chose:

We're working on the interior now, but I think once the insides are printed, I'll be binding them with these ribbons:

I always keep programs from weddings (this explains why I'm a packrat). But I love looking back at them over time and remembering the ceremony. I think these little beauties will definitely be keepsake material.

PS: I'll take photos of the real deals when we have them all assembled, and they will make my ever-expanding Detail Shots List for our photographer, too.

Incremental progress

2009-04-28T22:45:00.007-05:00

Finished two things tonight that weren't even on The List (oops):

Name tags for the Welcome Bags. Had a freeing "let it go" moment deciding that our campaign sticker-adorned tags were just fine if I scribbled their accommodations and a personal note underneath their carefully printed (in our font) name, rather than printing everything. Letting needless details go right about.... NOW.
Booked our flights! Seeing "11 nights, 12 days" on the screen felt pretty awesome. And who knows, depending on how our super-pregnant Best Woman comes along, I might just have to extend my trip even more... And EEK, we leave three weeks from tomorrow!

Scenes from la casa

2009-04-28T06:43:00.001-05:00

Just your typical pre-wedding day at our place. You know, huge Tiffany box and half-gallon containers of Skedattle and Mexitan. The usual.

I've got friends in [more artistic] places

2009-04-27T10:18:00.005-05:00

My friend Sasha is a fantastic landscape designer and graphic artist, and is considering getting into the business of custom map-making with her friend Tawny. They're using our wedding as a guinea pig project to help finetune their future business practices. Our map will be a full illustration of NC's Outer Banks, dotted with sights to see, places to go, and the weekend's golfing and kayaking activities. Included on this map is a smaller, more detailed inset map that illustrates the weekend's official events, with both walking and driving directions included.

These fantastic maps are going into our Welcome Bags, and will set the tone (with our exact color palette and fonts, of course!) while also providing the practical information that guests will need as soon as they arrive. While Sasha and Tawny are hard at work on our full map, they finished the inset map early so that we could upload it onto the wedding website. With a title plopped on top just for Web use, the inset map works perfectly as a stand-alone explanatory map for guests trying to get their head around the weekend before it begins. I'm thrilled with how this turned out... and can't wait to see the full map!

By the time of the wedding, I'll post our custom map in full and will brag all about Sasha and Tawny as they unveil their new business website, so stay tuned! Don't you want them to make you one?

(click for full size)

Three years later...

2009-04-26T14:36:00.017-05:00

The epitome of the perfect Sunday: sleeping in, making breakfast, slowly sipping coffee while digging into the Sunday Times, planning meals, buying the week's groceries and flowers, exercising, and then settling in for a night at home. Sigh...

We've been blessed to receive gifts in the mail nearly every day for the past two weeks. My favorite gifts so far have been gifts of family significance (goes without saying) or thematic gifts. For example, one kind person bought us every single vase off one of our registries, and in the card wished us a lifetime of flowers. One kind person sent us everything we'll need in order to roast meat to succulent perfection. Tonight, we're taking advantage of both things. We're surrounded by fresh flowers, and we're planning a very special dinner.

See, three years ago tonight, we met each other. Completely randomly. In a bar. Not really on our best behavior. Okay, not on my best behavior. But after being mentally manhandled all night, T inexplicably kissed me on the sidewalk anyway. And it was much better than I thought it (he?) would be. And just like that, the guy I'd probably never see again became the guy I had to see again.

You know those moments when you accidentally give yourself away, and then immediately hate yourself for it? That was me, slipping up and making a little sound in spite of myself during the kiss. Cover blown. Shell crumbled.

Two nights later, I called up that strange preppy guy in pink to announce that A) I had a bottle of wine, and B) I was coming over to watch baseball, which my non-cable-subscribing self assumed was on at a moment's notice to anyone who owned more than rabbit ears. There wasn't a game on that night, as it turned out, but it didn't even matter.

So three years ago tonight, I shared a couple of drinks with someone who in just four weeks from today, I will be marrying. To celebrate, we're using our divine roasting pan to cook a fabulous dinner and have a quiet night at home, surrounded by fresh flowers. We're opening a really special bottle of wine. And guess what's on TV tonight? Red Sox - Yankees.

April 26, 2006 - April 26, 2009: Life coming full circle.

F-Word Fridays: Men in Skirts

2009-04-24T23:41:00.000-05:00

Before my maternal grandfather passed away in 2001, he and his two sons had an annual tradition. They, along with whichever older male cousins were handy, would pose for a picture at whatever family function worked best. They'd all be wearing kilts, and the photo would inevitably become a joke holiday card which read "Merry Christmas, from Men in Skirts".

I don't remember there being much celebration of my mother's Scottish heritage in my youth, but somewhere along the way, her side of the family embraced it fully. There were trips to the Highlands for Clan Cameron reunions. An uncle used his spare time to work up a detailed family genealogy that went back generations, and predictably to Scotland. And most of the men were married (well, re-married) wearing kilts. I myself don't have one. My grandfather offered to have a kilt made for me as a college graduation present, but for one reason or another it never happened. Which is why I'm wearing his seersucker suit instead.

All this also explains why we're having a bagpiper at the wedding. Of all the elements we're incorporating into the weekend, this is the one that puts the biggest smile on my mother's face. He'll play "Scotland the Brave" when my groomsmen and I make our way to the altar, and he's going to play "Brown Haired Maiden" when we walk back down the aisle at the end of the ceremony. Since the ceremony is outdoors, he's actually going to march me and the groomsmen to the altar from about 50 yards away, and keep playing as he disappears over the dunes and down the beach. Later, after he's played us back down the aisle, he's going to lead our guests from the ceremony to the reception across the street.

I think the whole thing will be a nice touch, and memorable on a day that will no doubt be full of things worth remembering. Plus, it seems appropriate to have at least one man there in a skirt...

Feminists fall in love, too

2009-04-24T12:06:00.007-05:00

Feministing is one of my daily reads. As such, I've come to admire and respect founder Jessica Valenti, now a published author and fixture on the college speaking circuit. Valenti has been engaged for several months now, and has written in several places about the process of being a feminist and planning a wedding, something that seems to many to be an oxymoron. In this piece for the Guardian, Valenti offers an eloquent recap of the process for her thus far, and the response her engagement has elicited from some conservatives ("You've Never Met a Bridezilla Like a Feminist Bridezilla") to fellow feminists who believed Valenti had compromised her values by wanting to be married (she "seem[ed] to find flaws with patriarchy, but fail[ed] to find a way to bring it down"). The value in having this discussion in multiple mediums is enormous, and digging into feminism, romantic partnership, and structural conditions is something that I could do all day long. What these serious discussions come down to is the same bottom line that fluffier wedding-based reads bring up for me: do what makes you and your partner happy. That's it. That's all.

Being a feminist and planning a wedding embodies much more than whether or not you're wearing a white dress (I am) or changing your name (I'm not) or being given away by someone (both my parents, thank you). Being a feminist and planning a wedding is about your relationship and your partnership, and incidentally how you choose to celebrate (both raucously and tenderly, for us, and with donations to a same-sex marriage fund in lieu of favors, because we feel extraordinarily lucky that we're able to marry at all). Trevor and I are equal partners through and through, and I think our wedding will celebrate that fact. Our campaign logo is fun and memorable, but is quite literal in the statement that it makes. Adams Hanger '09. Separate entities joined on a ticket. Distinct identities embarking on a journey together. (Remember a Council Between Equals?)

I like the kind of wedding that celebrates how stubbornly independent the two of us are, while not diminishing for a second that we're also madly in love with each other. I like the kind of marriage that kind of wedding will kick off. And maybe I do have a set of 12 glasses on my living room floor right now with an etched family monogram that will never be ours, sent by someone who didn't quite get it. These things will happen, and if I get fed up enough I can call my future mother-in-law, who never changed her name, for advice. That small hassle, though? Totally worth it. Because I get to marry the only person who's ever made me excited about the idea of marriage, and because he's every bit as equal-opportunity and well-adjusted and unpossessive and excited to be married as I am. Is he "garnishing his testicles" for "letting" me keep my name, as someone wrote about Valenti's fiance? Hardly. Trust me.

It's funny to me how much we can fuss about the way other people decide to get married. If we're going to fuss about it, let's fuss about those who aren't even allowed the option. That's the real deal. Me? I'm just a feminist co-hosting a big 'ol beach party and shacking up with her favorite guy for the rest of her life.

Congrats, Jessica. And you know what? Congrats, me! (Us, I mean us.)

Happy Friday, everyone.

ONE MONTH countdown!

2009-04-24T08:18:00.006-05:00

ONE MONTH! Wow.

Let's check in with last month's list and see how the current To Do list looks.

To Do:

Rent/borrow tables for Welcome Cookout
Finalize Welcome Cookout decor
Finish ceremony "script" with Gene
Write vows
DJ guidelines/play/do not play
Reception timeline
Ask friends to take part in group reading
Program interior
Assemble programs
Finish Welcome Bags - ship product to NC
Napkins - cocktail and reception
Finish Hooray sticks (DIY HQ)
Finish votives (DIY HQ)
Make escort cards
Girls' hairpieces
Final dress fitting - ship dress to NC
Buy wedding perfume & pressed powder
Table assignments
Finish table signs
"Guestbook"
Talk through ceremony music arrangements with our violinist (my adorable music prodigy cousin!)
Pack (whoa)

Done:

Venue
Photographer
Florist
Website
Save the Dates
Colors/feel
Dress
DJ
Officiant
Bridesmaid dresses
Welcome cookout/honeymoon house
Wedding party
Shoes
Invitation design
Engagement photos
Groomsmen attire
Groom's attire
Bridal party hair/makeup/accessories planning
Flower girl dress
Invitation printing
Welcome Cookout catering
Welcome Cookout assigned tasks
Agreed-upon vision with floral/event designer
Flower selections
Proposed Menu to Venue
Dessert decision
Hair/Makeup Trial
Began dress alterations
Ordered Welcome Bag product containers
Ordered custom postage
Groomsmen belts
Bridesmaid gifts
Groomsmen gifts
Campaign stickers

---------------new additions---------------

Assemble invitations
Mail invitations
Finalize reception menu
First draft of ceremony structure written/planned
Picked ceremony music
Pick up rings
Finalize unofficial weekend activities
Pocket squares
Groomsmen socks
Fabric pomanders (DIY HQ)
Centerpiece cans (DIY HQ)
Tent lanterns ordered (DIY HQ)
Order campaign buttons
Dry clean groom suit
Flower girl accessories
Bachelorette
Welcome Cookout/Brunch dresses
Bar selections

"One month" image courtesy of Wordle.

A rose after all?

2009-04-23T13:37:00.003-05:00

We're making progress replacing the dahlia in my full-figured red flower wish list. It's been tough, though, because the in-season red flowers in late May are either not red enough (peonies) or best used as accent flowers (ranunculus). I dislike standard red roses, so that was never an option, and red gerberas seem too simple for the occasion. That said, our floral/decor guru urged me to think about garden roses as a dahlia alternative. Although I initially bristled at even the word "rose" (Oh, how Valentine's Day has destroyed that flower - in red at least - for many of us!), she's right - garden roses are fantastic. And I don't think of lame once-a-year bouquets at all when I look at these. Whoopee!

First glimpse

2009-04-22T13:57:00.009-05:00

We've been making a ton of ceremony decisions this week, including a biggie: To see each other before the ceremony.

Our reasons are many: cocktail hour love, general timing, and also nerves. The thought of missing all of our cocktail hour is seriously stressful to me. First, all my favorite music has been relegated to that part of the evening (I am quite the mellow music lover). Second, my menu must-have - shrimp and grits - was transformed from an entree into an adorable hors d'oeuvre, and if I don't get to taste it, I'll be sad. Third, our photos will cut off some of the cocktail hour even if we do our own photos first, so we might as well speed it up if we can. As for nerves... I really don't like feeling nervous. I'm too jumpy and I blush easily if I'm nervous - not my natural state at all. But if I've already seen T, and we've already done our own "first glimpse" without a hundred pairs of eyes on us, I think I'll be really excited and calm before the ceremony instead, a state of being that I much prefer.

So far the schedule is looking something like this:

First Glimpse photos - Just the two of us
Groom and groomsmen, Groom and family
Bride and bridesmaids, Bride and family
Ceremony
Huge group photo with all guests (I'll explain this soon!)
Group family photos
Bride and Groom
Bride and Groom with wedding party
Cocktail hour and start of reception
Sneak-out at 7:30 for Bride and Groom sunset shots on the sound
Rest of reception

The more I've thought about it, the more romantic I think the idea of the "First Glimpse" is if it's done right. A private moment before craziness ensues, structured so that the expression everyone hopes is captured on the groom at the end of the aisle is captured up close and personal instead. Besides, I have a feeling my F-Word will have something photo-worthy for me during the ceremony even if he's already seen the dress. So to First Glimpse shots: see what I mean?

Boutwell Studio

SMS Photography

With This Ring's wedding

SMS Photography

The program-opener

2009-04-22T09:57:00.001-05:00

“I declare
that I shall love you always.
No matter what party is in power;
No matter what temporarily expedient combination of allied interests wins the war;
I shall love you always.”
- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from ‘Modern Declaration’

Label dork

2009-04-21T11:45:00.005-05:00

Guess what I'm doing while waiting for a conference call? Making personalized bug spray and sunscreen labels for our Welcome Bags, of course!

DORK.

Our actual product is on its way, and our little empty bottles are in wait at home. I sense a filling party in our future!

Cue the clergymen!

2009-04-21T07:00:00.002-05:00

In the search for ceremony readings and program quotes, we've come across several we love but just aren't right for us. Here's one of them:

I'd be crazy to propose to her, but when I see that profile of hers, I feel the only thing worth doing in the world is to grab her and start shouting for clergymen and bridesmaids to come running.

- P.G. Wodehouse

Why we love our officiant

2009-04-20T19:05:00.006-05:00

We're ordaining our friend Gene to marry us. We actually laughed about how great it would be have Gene as emcee before we were even engaged. He's The One for many reasons - he's an actor (presence!), a writer (great with words!), and a talk show host (knows how to manipulate a crowd!). But more than all of that, Gene just gets us. He was one of the first people to whom I admitted my burgeoning feelings toward Random Preppy Pink-Shirted Guy. And when random guy became regular guy became boyfriend stuck in the Never-ending Election Recount from Hell, Gene was the one who listened to me whine (I know, I know, why was I whining?!), and then bought me beers at our favorite spot and took me to the movies to get my mind off things. When I introduced Gene and Trevor at a backyard dinner party my best ABQ gals and I hosted, it was like they'd known each other forever. Couldn't have been more seamless. Plus, Gene might have used the phrase "epitomizing youthful love of today" about us once or twice. ;-)

Importantly to us, Gene is also freakin' hilarious. I can't wait to see what our crowd thinks of him. Today while Gene and I were chatting about some ceremony stuff, he summed up in one brief exchange why we've asked him to do this for us:

Gene: Oh my Gawwwwwwwd! The invitations!!!

Me: So fun, huh?

Gene: I swear to you, I couldn't even open the thing. I was just in awe of it and knew that what was inside was going to break my ass it'd be so powerful, so I just kind of carried it around with me unopened for a week.

Maggie: Wait, seriously? You couldn't open it?

Gene: No! It was going to break my ass! I couldn't do it! Had to just sit with it a while.

Maggie: You are hilarious. Should this story make it into your ceremony intro somehow?

Gene: Ha ha... noted.

Maggie: Only if you repeat the phrase "break my ass," of course.

Jillian is my homegirl

2009-04-20T14:04:00.011-05:00

The first time I ordered a Jillian Michaels workout video, I did so secretly. I closed the door to my office and clicked through Amazon as quickly as I could, making sure no one saw the embarrassing '80s throwback symbol of desperation I was adding to my cart. You get the picture.

But now? No longer ashamed. In fact, I'm just going to admit it out loud: Jillian Michaels is my homegirl. She rocks. I love how mean she can be, but in the next turn empathetic and real; I love her Jillian-isms; I love how she knows exactly when your posture is starting to suck and you need her to yell at you and remind you that your ass isn't supposed to be in the air for that move; and I love that when I first saw a quick clip of videos I hadn't yet ordered, I was desperately afraid she'd gotten terrible highlights, and then hugely relieved to see in full that no, those were just light brown headbands. Whew! But mostly, I love that she has whipped me into shape the past few months for many things that life has in store for me, including, but not limited to, wearing a wedding dress. And I love that I feel stronger as a result, not weaker.

Here's the deal. I started with the 30 Day Shred around Christmas. At that point I'd been making a concerted effort to work out 3-4 times a week for months, spending 1-1.5 hours at the gym each time. I was getting nowhere. After just a couple of weeks with Jillian, I was getting more results in less than half the time that I'd been spending working out alone. Even better? I could work out in my own apartment where I don't have a lot of extra room, using hand weights as my only equipment. For anyone who doesn't know, the Shred is designed with three levels that you work up to over time. Each level has three circuits, which combine strength, cardio, and abs. It might not sound like much effort, but doing it regularly (at least four times a week) should have you seeing and feeling major results. In half the amount of time you could spend at the gym. Really.

After Level 3 of the Shred became a little too routine, I was ready for new challenges but wasn't ready to part with Jillian, so I bought her other two DVDs (with my office door open! And while recommending her to friends!). For maybe three months now, I've been working out to both Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism and No More Trouble Zones, and let me tell you - I have never been a bigger Jillian devotee. Her philosophy behind the Shred is very much represented in these videos as well, but they're longer workouts and are each fairly different. BFBM is basically a kickass, heart-pounding-out-of-your-chest cardio killer, while NMTZ incorporates weights (she recommends 3 lbs, whereas I used 5 lb weights for the Shred) to target key areas that we all love to bitch about. Both will make you sweat like a pig. Both will leave you sore. Both really work. And like the Shred, being able to enjoy your progress over time is really gratifying. That move that made you feel like you were going to throw up two months ago? No problem. That move that left you unable to climb stairs? Bring on the stairs! Love it.

These days I alternate BFBM and NMTZ at least five days a week, putting Level 3 of the Shred on for kicks or if I don't have time for a long workout. I'm definitely firmer and somewhat slimmer than I was six months ago - there is less jiggle and more of what I love about my body now. My clothes fit better. I'm buying smaller sizes. But, and I will say this in bold, I have not lost any weight. What I hate about the weight loss industry are the loud claims of "Lose X pounds in X days!" Those claims are on Jillian's videos, too - and I love her and those workouts, but haven't lost a pound. That's just how my body works. I've been one of four sizes my entire teenage to adult life, yet have always weighed nearly exactly the same. So if you're obsessed with the scales (I don't own them), you might be frustrated if you were in my shoes. But I've never been happier in them. And I don't plan on starving just so the scales can reflect something arbitrary back to me.

So that's it. The only fitness-related post you will ever see here, because a few people have asked me to write about it. I'm a Jillian girl. I don't know if it's her attitude, her jump moves, her circuit combinations, or the fact that I can just put her on and turn my brain off for 45 minutes a day, but whatever it is, I'm a fan. She kicks my ass regularly, but respects my time in return, and I think that's a fair deal. End of story.

More is more

2009-04-18T10:17:00.005-05:00

First off, how FUN to shop with everyone else! Even if it means posting unflattering photos of myself online!

Second, in order to relieve everyone who'd be anxiously awaiting the outcome of my dress debate all weekend, allow me to announce:

My Welcome Cookout Dress:

My Farewell Brunch Dress:

Best of both worlds, yes?*

*to my checking account's chagrin, obvs